First, the basement is trashed. They took every toy in the house and piled it up in the middle of the floor. Mix that with garbage and laundry, and it doesn't make a pretty picture.
Then I went into the bathroom.
Ben and Grace decided to make a 'potion' today. I'll spare you the pictures. I was unawares, because I was in some kind of drug induced coma and slept all day. This is all probably my fault.
In the sink they combined an entire roll of toilet paper, various other papers from notebooks, then they mashed the whole thing up with an entire bottle of soap and.... PEE! And there were bits of their 'potion' everywhere. Mirror, counters, floors, doors...
I am disgusted and angry. I want to beat them, I want to take away every toy they've ever owned, I want to ground them for the entire school year, and I want to feed them bread and water for the rest of their lives.
All I did was help Austin clean it up and sent them to bed with no songs or stories. Gee, I'm so mean. We'll deal with punishments tomorrow.
This had to come during the week that I decided I didn't want to be a mother anymore. I didn't want to be ANYTHING anymore. Is the universe trying to give me more ammunition? What the hell?
3 comments:
Jill, my friend--
Please do me a favor. Go to my blog and listen to these selected songs in the order given (ID'd by their current number):
It's Only Life (25)
Hope Now (16)
Late For Your Life (2)
You Were Loved (4)
A Beautiful World (5)
You are not alone in your feelings. You are not alone in handling them. Please don't shut your world out. Take a long walk today. Open up all the shades and blinds. Seek the sunshine; seek Light. AND! Take the gift that has been given you: give and receive lotz of hugz!
Much love from me to you during one of your darker nights. The morning will come again. It always does.
Just when we think they are too old to do such a thing, SURPRISE! Man that is a bad day.
I would be asking the final question you asked if I discovered that atrocity!
So Sorry.
You are a trooper to have such kind things to say after a horrible disaster like that. Just W O W! I've had those hard days too. Only not so bad as what you described---and still had those same feelings! That shows you how non-angelic I am. It's so hard to be a mom to such mighty---albeit mischief-crazed----spirits. It's just so hard. But I know you can do this. Please don't give up. I love you so much. I know Austin loves you so much. And thier actions are kid actions and not at all tied to their love for you, which is strong and mighty, just like they are. It always seems to happen on those weeks when we just can't take any more, I am SO sorry about that. I love what your friend said, the morning always does come. I love you, Dear Friend!
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