My floor is constantly littered with toys and crumbs and shoes. My sink is always full of dirty dishes and the counters are covered with clutter. My bathroom counters are sticky with toothpaste and barrettes and the floor is hidden under a pile of dirty towels. My unmade bed is buried with unfolded laundry, while piles of dirty clothes accumulate in my basement. I don't make healthy meals for dinner and my grocery bills are always outside our budget, even with coupons.
Not only is my house cluttered, but my mind is also, with guilt and frustration. That's why I'm awake and blogging at 2:30 in the morning.
I have dreams that my bathroom cupboards are always filled with fresh, clean towels. That my kitchen sink is shiny and clean before I go to bed at night. That all the beds are made and the pillows are fluffed. I dream that I will be the kind of mother that my kids tell inspiring stories about in Sacrament Meeting on Mothers Day. I imagine that I have the energy and desire to make all these things a reality.
Mostly I disappoint myself, and I come home from work to a messy home and a weary heart.
Does the balm of Gilead work for stressed out working Moms? Do any other moms have similar struggles, and suggestions for coping?
Is there hope for me?
3 comments:
Yup...I have a suggestion for you. Win the lottery and then you can hire a nanny...a chef...and a maid. Then your house will be exactly how you want it. I figure as long as your kids are alive and healthy, you have food in your kitchen (I know it's not always where it belongs) and you don't have bed bugs! (haha) Then you are doing good. Don't be so hard on yourself! =)
It is exhausting to come home after a long shift to a messy home. For you, leaving 3 times, triples your chances. They do try, but they don't have the eyes of a true nurturing homemaker, they have man eyes.
I always go to work and see the people who are in true despair, radical cancer surgeries, poor prognosis, etc. and then attempt to do my best not to be frustrated with all my failings and perceived hardships.
There is still time. Right?
I embrace 5 different strategies for coping with post work mommy blues:
1.Do something really fun with my kids. Then clean up.
2. Some days, I will come home after 14 hours and do dishes, pick up, vacuum, and wash laundry. Though my legs throb, I love how it looks and I love how it feels waking up to a cleaner more orderly home.
3. Eat take out. Put on a movie, throw my clothes in the washer, and let everything wait till the next day.
4. I vote for Tylenol PM. Everything is better in the morning, except for the mess. Only now there is more energy available to deal with it.
5.Throw myself on the floor and kick and scream like a little girl. My personal favorite.
One thing I know perfectly:
Late night is the worst time for introspection, self analysis, and goal setting. We are hyper critical of ourselves in these hours. Plus our spouses do NOT want to hear it. They just want to sleep.
I know this perfectly, yet once I get started, it is hard to stop adding up the failures.
Once the mind is on this roller coaster it is virtually impossible to get off!
I'm not going to give you any profound advice but this:
Enjoy your kids, who cares about the house. You're a wonderful mom who adores her kids and I doubt when they grow up they're going to remember how clean the counters were - they're going to recall the memories you guys made together.
Don't be so hard on yourself. TV moms don't have to REALLY clean those houses, you know. ;)
Hugs.
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