The shape of a Mother

I grabbed this link from a friend's website, because it really made me feel better about myself.

I am currently trying to lose some weight and be healthier, after a medication I was on caused an increase in appetite and weight. I'm eating better, and exercising 5 days a week. I want to get back into shape.

But what shape? I've had three kids. I'm never going to be the shape that I think is my ideal, ever again. EVER.

I was talking to Emily at work last night and we read yet another magazine article that said "look at so-and-so, and her post-baby-body! She got it back!" Yea, right. Nobody gets it back. It's not that easy, and it's not even true.

Underneath supportive underwear and tummy-slimming waistbands, I look pretty decent. Most people will never see the parts of me that hurt the most to look at. This website gave me some perspective on that. My body changed humanity, it brought incredible life into this world that I wouldn't give up for anything. My body is incredible, that it could do that. And it was worth whatever physical damage pregnancy and childbirth may have caused.

So visit this website and feel comforted. You can be healthy and happy, no matter what your post-baby-shape may be.

And to those well-meaning people who keep asking me if I'm pregnant... I forgive you.

One More

I saw God today.

Inside Out

What a pretty day :)

Unfortunately, I had to spend it indoors since I had to work.
THIS stuff saved me.
I am in love with five hour energy drinks.

Love,

Today's Gracisms

"I have something pokey, and I'm not afraid to use it."



"I'm pooping in five... four... three... two... one.... I pooped!"

BBL Giveaway!

I'm sponsoring a give away on this awesome site, please go visit!

It's eggplant!

I don't do before and after pictures very well, but my laundry room used to be an ivory color that was 25 years old. Now it's eggplant with bright white trim, and I LOVE it!

It's still a work in progress, I have to move all the heavy appliances (washer, dryer, box freezer) and clean and paint behind those, but what I have finished so far is very pleasing to my eyes :)


I'm texting Emily telling her to come see my masterpiece, I'm just dying to show it off to someone. Even at 11:30 at night. (she works that late, I didn't wake anyone up).


Up next? Painting Ember & Ben's rooms as part of their room redecorations for their birthdays.

I LOVE painting.

Retro

My kids have gone retro. :) They've discovered the old Looney Tunes cartoons on Netflix Instant Viewer, which are classics. Marvin the Martian! Thufferin' Thucotash! You Wascawy Wabbit! I'm glad they're watching these, instead of the newer more obnoxious cartoons on TV now.


We also found some of these AWESOME floppy disks while cleaning out our office, and we gave them all to the kids. They're using them to play "spy". They're using the disks to fuel their imagination, instead of using CD's and DVD's to play games on the computer.



I love Retro.

buh-BAAAM!

Spent: $132
Saved: $125
Total saved: 49%

Duuuuuuude!

I feel better

It's been heavily documented that close proximity to my mother elevates my mood. I need to find a way to bottle that and take it with me.

I got up on time, showered and got dressed up, ran some errands, clipped some coupons, did some dishes and did some house cleaning. Then I went to work and had an awesome night, my production numbers rocked. On my lunch break I went downstairs to use the gym and spent 30 minutes working out. Doing lunges in heels really kicks your butt. I only got a little sweaty in my work clothes.

THIS folks, is what we call bi-polar disorder at it's finest. I may as well appreciate the good while I still have it.

Wheee!!!

Amazing Grace

Check this out, awesome.




A post about Grace that isn't about my Gracie :)

Am I screwing this up?

I have a picture hanging up in my bedroom with an amazing quote:

"The shaping of a child's faith and character is one of our most sacred stewardships."

My oldest is a pre-teen, a baptized member of the church and starting to ask some real questions. My son will be baptized this year and I think he is prepared, but I honestly don't know. My baby girl, the one who saved me from my deepest and scariest depression, is turning five and going to Kindergarten. She won't sit still for a prayer unless it's her turn to pray, but we're making progress.

My baby girl just crawled into my bed after having a nightmare. I'm watching her breathe and contemplating how miraculous it is that she's mine. And one of my deepest fears, the ones that manifest themselves at 1:30 in the morning, is that I'm screwing this up.

Am I teaching my kids all that they will need in order to survive in this chaotic world? Or am I teaching them that when life gets hard, lock yourself in your bedroom with your laptop and wait until it goes away?

Am I helping them recognize the spirit, foster their own faith and testimonies, and arming them with vital gospel principles? Or am I skipping Family Home Evenings because by the end of the day I am out of the mental energy it would take to encourage them to sit still for just a MOMENT and listen to something important?

My kids seem happy (except when they all want the same toy). They go to church, even when I don't, because of my amazing husband. They are learning most of the scripture stories from faithful primary teachers who truly care about my kids. And I'm afraid that I will be judged for not being the one who is doing those things.

My disease is just an excuse. I'm on medication, I'm seeing a psychiatrist, I'm in more control that I let on, and yet I continue to fail at the one thing that is my most sacred stewardship. Or at least I'm afraid that I'm failing. My tears are falling on my daughters hair as I lay next to her because I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for her.

I'm sure that every mother has these moments, and they're scary. I can only pray to be worthy of them and express humble and sincere gratitude for the village that is helping me raise them.

Thanks for listening, I think I can go to sleep now.

Today's Grace-ism

In the car on the way home from Grandma and Grandpa's, my kids were all yelling at each other. I decided to join in the fun and yell back.

Using my best sarcastic voice I shouted, "I just LOVE it when my kids talk to each other like that!!!"

In the ensuing silence I barely heard Grace whisper....

"She doesn't really love it, she's just saying that."




I've been discovered.

(Grace in motion)

shameless self-promotion

Hop on over to my crochet site, I'm offering free shipping all summer. Headbands and flower clips are great for hot weather, the hats will have to wait for November :)

My two favorite "Grace-isms" for the day

At the Easter Pageant last night Grace leaned over to me and said, "Mom, this show has too many AH's." What? "You know, like (in a singing voice) ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"

Tonight before Family Prayers Grace leaned on my sunburned arm and said, "Mom, I really like this color of red."



This girl makes me smile every single day.

Super long post with pics of non-family: you can skip it if you want

I want to be THIS cute.


This is Zooey Deschanel, one of my style icons.

She has pale freckly skin and awesome blue eyes.

She has a unique style that ranges from classic, quirky, flirty, and really fun. She isn't afraid of color, or mixing things together in a way that no one else would think of.

Pictures of her always make me want to dress up cute and go outside and play.

See what I mean about her awesome eyes??

I've seen this ad in every magazine I've ever purchased, and I WANT THOSE SHOES!! (and the super-cute sweater, obviously, since it matches the shoes :)

She is just too cute for words, which is why I uploaded way too many pictures.

I want to look like that when I grow up.