Friday, January 30, 2009
I found out today who one of my anonymous friends is. Jenna.
I can't even begin to express my gratitude. I would call, but I'm a tad emotional and I may make a fool of myself. The flowers, the daily notes in my mailbox, the encouragement to find joy and the assurance that I am a beloved sister and also a daughter of God... these are the things that my spirit has been craving. I don't know how to adequately show my gratitude, it may take me awhile to really put some thought into it.
My despair has been reaching new lows lately. I'm seeing a psychiatrist who tests me on a weekly basis to find out what my mood is like, what my struggles are, and the tests just keep getting worse. I've been 'moderately to severely' depressed and on this past Thursdays visit, there was nothing moderate about it. Dr. Moran promised that things get worse before they get better, and that relief is within my grasp. She is treating me with chemicals, thank heaven for modern medicine!
But I believe my Heavenly Father, knowing what is in my heart and soul, knew that I couldn't take the 'worse' before it got better. Maybe Jenna listened to a prompting, feeling like she needed to reach out to her sister with a little love and compassion. Logically I know that I am valued, and loved, but I can't internalize that right now. Jenna, your thoughtfulness pierced the wall I've been building around myself in order to cope. I love you so much, and I'm so grateful that you are my sister.
Want to get to know me? Visit this post!