When is it appropriate to correct your children's behavior, or to comfort the child to avoid the tantrum? Twice in the last two days we've had issues with our kids behavior and I'm not sure we handled it correctly. Last night the kids had to go to a babysitters house so we could go out for my mother-in-laws birthday. Ember, the oldest, didn't want to eat her dinner and was giving her dad a lot of attitude. He couldn't make a huge issue of it because he was in a time crunch. The typical rule of the house is that you eat whatever is on your plate, and you can't leave the table until you do. Ember would have sat there all night, which would have made us miss our family dinner. Austin made an exception and let Ember skip dinner. There wasn't even time for punishment for disrespecting and talking back to her dad.
This morning Ben woke up in a grumpy mood and was very disobedient. We were running late and needed Ben to just get dressed so he wouldn't miss the bus. The fight began over, of all things, which shoes he wanted to wear to school. He was screaming, crying, delaying, and we just had to get him out the door so he wasn't late for school. He then started crying because he couldn't find his homework, and by then I was at the end of my rope. I yelled at him and told him to stop crying. He left for school an emotional wreck, which I KNOW is going to affect how well he does today.
With Ember we ignored her behavior, with Ben we over-reacted and sent him to school upset. When you are in a time crunch and have disobedient children, what do you do? Sometimes correcting the behavior and being consistent with consequences means changing your own plans, as in the case of the family dinner. But what about school? I couldn't let him be late for school just because I wanted to take the time to handle the situation better. Please add comments to this post and let me know your opinions... when do you punish the child, and when do you save it for another time?
1 comment:
Jill, I know exactly what you mean about the time; that's what gets me the most frustrated. I think its okay to be late for things sometimes and even school. I would rather my child be a little late then them going to school not knowing I love them, and how much will they accomplish at school feeling like that anyway. I spoke with my mom and she gave me some good ideas for these types of situations. She said it sounds like a power struggle. Instead of fighting against them, help them to help themselves. Because the morning was crazy with Ben help him set his things out the night before so that they are ready. If it's already the situation you can't go back and fix it; slow down and talk to him, give him his options. In regards to the not eating her dinner, I would give her a choice, something you can be okay with, for example: she can either eat her dinner or she will be hungry later and she doesn't get snacks in between the meals to make up for it. I have used that one. Dariya was hungry and didn't want that to happen again. I haven't had much problems with that, but that could just be my girls like to eat. I hope some of this helped. Keep up the good work, I know you are an awesome mom and have done great things.
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