Ok, third post of the day. I just wanted to post a few more Christmas pictures, some of my finished projects, after the room was cleaned up and the kids were gone. I love the little details around the room, things you don't really see when looking at the big picture.
I didn't do a single thing with the tree this year. Last year I was obsessive, every branch had to be shaped just right, and the entire tree had a color scheme. I hardly let the kids touch it, and it wasn't any fun, even though the tree was so beautiful. I decided that this year's tree, done entirely by the kids without my help at all, is just as beautiful. And they had way more fun than they did last year. Priorities.
I'll still be wearing my Grinch shirt and having my grumpy moments, but this picture sure does put me in the Christmas spirit. Maybe my Grinch's small heart will grow three sizes this year.
Thanksgiving was fantastic. We enjoyed dinner with Austin's parents, their kids, spouses, and grandkids and it was a large crowd. Now that it's over, NOW is the time for Christmas decorations and music. Not before. One holiday at a time, thankyouverymuch.
I skipped Black Friday by sleeping in, staying in my pajamas, and watching movies. It was awesome. Saturday my friend Susan took another friend and I out to a movie and lunch for our November birthdays, and we saw the Muppets. I definitely reccomend this movie for kids of all ages, and kids at heart who watched the Muppet show on TV growing up. It was very nostalgic, funny, had some great celebrity appearances, and fun music. I can't wait to see it again with my family.
After my morning out with the girls, I came home to find that my husband had not only put up our Christmas tree and wrapped it with lights, he had also done the dishes and a load of laundry. (Back up ladies, he's MINE. And there's no secret to training him... he seriously just came that way).
I got home just in time to watch and record the kids decorate the tree. Our house looks and sounds like Christmas now (love Christmas playlists on the iPod). It was a good day. Happy Holidays, and let the serious shopping begin!
So sweet, Daddy can still (barely) rock his little girl.
I found this idea on Pinterest... I actually DID it! I'm really excited about how it turned out, but I'm even more excited that I actually accomplished something that I pinned. Yay me!
Two posts in a row, back to back, because I didn't have time to do this last week. First I'll post about Ben's gymnastics show, and then I'll post about our Christmas decorating afternoon.
Ben was in level 2 boys gymnastics this year at Desert Devils, and November 19 was their show and awards presentations. Ben did a great job, and we all had fun. Austin even climbed the rope to the ceiling at the end, just to prove he could!
The boys trophies were giving each other high fives. I love boys :)
Here's Ben getting his trophy, and the boys immediately start playing with them like they're action figures.
After one final bow, Ben stabs himself in the stomach.
Then as we were leaving, kids and families were allowed to walk around and use the equipment. The girls had a blast climbing on the bars and jumping on the trampoline, but Austin decided he was going to climb the rope all the way to the top. (What did Mom play with? The camera. That's it). Austin made it, hooray! (He was pretty sore the next day)
I realized today that I never finished reporting on what I learned from Time Out for Women. Then I realized that the following picture represents the mood I've been in ever since. Behold, my Mascot:
Yea, I'm kind of a grinch this time of year. I fully embrace my grinchiness and was THRILLED to find this t-shirt at Walmart. I actually bought two, so if I play my laundry cards right, I could wear this face a couple times a week.
My bad mood is currently being caused by a multitude of things, but especially the names I've been called by the "campaign of civility" after our recent election. My candidate lost, the recall was successful, and the gloaters have called me things that I can't post on this blog, because I have some very nice readers with delicate eyes. They were hateful, which is so ironic because of what they claimed their candidate would bring to Arizona politics. Civility. *cough*bullshit*cough* Sorry, a bad word slipped out, I couldn't help it. Haters bring it out in me, and remember... right now I'm the grinchiest grinch there ever was. There are other causes for it too, things happening with my kids, the school, the doctors, the budget, the holidays, the car repairs, the office, the insomnia, the doctors who are ignoring me and my breathing problems...
My bad mood usually passes sometime after New Years, but I'll try and lift it for a moment while I report on the second day of Time Out for Women. Let's get out of the negativity for a moment and be happy!
The Saturday session had some GREAT speakers, and Hillary Weeks did some great storytelling and sang some silly songs, and spiritual songs.
Mary Ellen Edmunds spoke first about identity theft. Satan wants to steal my identity, he wants to make me forget who I am, and who I'm meant to become. She also said something interesting, she said that where I am today is no surprise to God. My struggles with depression, with faith, with enduring, with giving up... it's no surprise to Him, He expected me to be here. I'm just supposed to move from point A to point B and become who I'm supposed to become, and it's a slow process so don't beat yourself up.
Hillary Weeks talked about an experiment that she tried in her home for two weeks. She read an article in a national news magazine that said the average woman thinks 300 negative thoughts a day, and she wanted to find out if this was true or not. She got herself a "clicker" (that's what she calls it, it just one of those little devices that counts up every time you click it). She told her family what she was doing so they would know what that thing was she was wearing around her wrist, and she started her Monday keeping track of those negative thoughts. She got in the car at 7:30 to take the kids to school and her daughter said, "Mom, it's only 7:30 and you've already had 13 negative thoughts!?" *click* Make that 14. So she covered it with masking tape so no one could see the numbers until the end off the day. Her first day she had about 170 negative thoughts. Gradually throughout the week she noticed the number going up a little bit, but it never got to 300.
Then she noticed that weekend that she was in a really bad mood. She tried to pray, and she couldn't because she was just so angry! She realized that by focusing on negativity all the time, she was becoming a negative person and driving away the spirit.
So she changed the experiment. She decided to keep track of only her positive thoughts. That first Monday she had over 400. By the end of the week, she was sure her kids had been playing with it but they swore they hadn't touched it all day, but at the end of the day Friday the number was over 1000. She had the spirit back, and she was feeling more gratitude and more happiness just because that's where she was putting her focus. That was meaningful to me, because I do give a lot of focus and energy to the negative things in my life. There's positives too, and I think I need to start that same experiment for myself.
You can buy the "clicker" on Hillary Weeks website, they're not much, and it sounds like lots of fun.
I can't remember where these next few quotes came from, there were several good speakers in a row and I didn't attribute them to anyone in my journal.
* I am real. I am God's little girl.
* Remember who my children are.
* I am the perfect Mom for MY kids.
* We can have a bad day but still have a great life.
* Life is a sequence that begins in choices and ends in consequences.
* We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become.
And here's a goal I set for myself, based on something one of the speakers said: I'm going to look in the mirror every day, study my face, and ponder who I am meant to be. Today? In the future? Who am I supposed to become? How am I going to get there? Maybe it's positive affirmations in the mirror every day, like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, but I liked the idea. Stare at myself and remember that I'm a daughter of God, He loves me, and He has plans for me.
My FAVORITE speaker was Kristin Belcher. After the conference was over I went to the bookstore and bought one of her books, which I read in two days, and it was amazing. Her story is available online, but she spoke about finding holy places wherever you are and about understanding that God wants her to become someone specific, and if this is the path she needs to take to become that person, then so be it. Her faith was incredible, and her sense of humor is awesome! She's had cancer twice, at least 10 surgeries starting at the age of 7 months, and is now completely blind. I think I can find a YouTube clip, just a minute, I'll be right back...
Found a couple, YAY! You're gonna LOVE her...
So, Time Out for Women was AWESOME and I was a better person for about two days. In a row. It was epic. Now I'm the grinch again, but I'll work on that.
Now for some random funny family fun.
Ember and I accidentally dressed the same for church on Sunday, all black and white. And yes, that is the PERFECT pencil skirt I was talking about a few weeks ago. Don't we look darling? :)
And today after school Grace asked for her usual snack, a tortilla. She eats it like this every day, she bites out holes for the eyes, nose, and mouth. She's perfected her technique. I know it's past Halloween, but this picture is just a little bit creepy. Maybe she can go as "Tortilla Face" next year for Halloween.
That's all for now. I actually have a couple huge, long stories to tell that I'm not sure I'll put on the blog or not, because they're very grinchy and probably won't do anyone any good by reading about them. And this post is already long enough!!
There's been a lot of talk in the media this year about the 99% and the 1%.
I am the 1%, but I'm not rich and this isn't about taxes.
Those two numbers? We've heard them before. Matthew 18 and Luke 15, in the New Testament. A man has 100 sheep and one gets lost. 99 are just fine, and safe, but one is wandering lost and afraid. Wouldn't that man go in search of the one that is lost? Isn't that one just as important as the other 99?
I think I'm going to form a club; Mormons with Mental Illness. Sometimes we're lost and sometimes we're found. Our testimonies come and go. Darkness envelopes us as often as the light does, maybe more so.
Or maybe I can't speak for everyone with a mental illness, maybe I should only speak for myself. After all, I'm referring to myself as the "one" that is lost.
I don't really fit in. I make public mistakes, I am so outspoken that I hurt people's feelings, I avoid opportunities for service because I'm afraid I'll fail or let someone down, or I just don't have the energy to get out of bed to do them. I can be sacrilegious and hypocritical in public, and then I berate myself in private for not being perfect. Sometimes I'm proud to speak about how my illness has actually strengthened me, but most times I'm ashamed of it, as if it were something I brought on myself through personal choices.
I've had powerful spiritual experiences that have strengthened me, uplifted me, and sustained me through some very dark moments, and years. I've also embraced the fear, anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, and hopelessness that presses in on me every day and I've pulled the covers back over my head and shut out the light because I didn't want it, even though it wanted me.
During all the media coverage over these past months talking about the divide in our country, and the 99% vs. the 1%, I've thought of this parable in the scriptures EVERY time. I can't hear those two numbers together without thinking of the Savior. Knowing myself to be the one that is lost, and sometimes the one that chooses to be lost and stay lost, it's been good for me to have these constant reminders, coming to me in a very unusual way. It's good for me to be reminded that the Savior is always looking for me, waiting for me, preparing to help me even if I come back injured or broken. Even when I don't want Him to find me, He won't stop looking.
Today I feel found, but there's a good chance I'll run away from home again tomorrow. Thank goodness He knows my favorite places to hide.
I went to Time Out for Women tonight with my Mom and sister Sharon and some of Sharon's in-laws and I really enjoyed myself. This conference for women is sponsored by Deseret Book and it originally started in Phoenix years ago, they've traveled across the country, but they always come back to Phoenix. It's music and motivational speakers that help women take a deep breath, relax, and take a time out. I'll post more about the things I was impressed by or learned about later, but tonight before I go to bed I just wanted to post a link to this song... Macy Robison was the musician who sang for us at the conference tonight, and she sang this song, one of my favorite songs in all of musical theater. Obviously this isn't Macy singing in the video, it's Bernadette Peters, whom I also love. The song is "Children will Listen" from the musical "Into the Woods." The lyrics are so true, and resonate with me every time I hear it. The message fit well into tonight's event, so I thought I'd share the YouTube video so you can hear and love the song too.
Careful the things you say... children will listen.
Guide them then step away... children will glisten.
