Kids say the darndest things

Translation: To Mom From Grace. You can dance and you can eat and you work on the computer and you can watch TV.

I love how she spells "cenputr" and "teve". I got about 10 of these notes today, they just keep getting better and better. She is very proud of herself for being able to sound out words and write notes herself without any help.

Here's some more funny kids stuff, while I'm at it.


Mom: "Ember, you look like your shirt is falling off."
Ember: "Mom, you don't know the FIRST thing about fashion."

Grace: "Mom, you're the best Mom ever. I don't just mean in Arizona, I mean everywhere."

Ember: "I feel so bad for those birds, giving their LIVES to protect their eggs. DIE PIGS DIE!"

Grace: "You don't feel good? No wonder everything is so messy."

Ben: "Mom, I have the goose bumps. Is there such a thing as duck bumps?"

Grace: "Mom you have a red bump under your chin, but don't worry... no one can see it unless you're looking at the stars."

Grace splashed Dad with something and he got upset... she said "What, are you going to a meeting or something?"

Ember wanted to play with Dad's new smart phone. He said no because the battery was low. She responded, "well I AM letting you raise me."


I'm making a book about each kid, with illustrations (photographic evidence... but that's just semantics) to give to their kids. Or maybe I'll keep them at my house... grandma has the BEST bedtime stories ever!

Animals and Animals

Today was the Kindergarten field trip to the Phoenix Zoo. I've gone on this field trip with all three of my kids now, but with Grace I got to ride on the bus with her since I didn't have any other babies in strollers. She was thrilled.

It was the perfect day to be at the zoo. The weather was gorgeous, and all the animals were wide awake and active. In all the years I've been going to the zoo I've never seen the black bear even once. His rear end maybe, from behind a rock. Today he was walking right up to us, playing in the water, and showing off. The tiger was wandering around in the sun before laying down in the shade. The cheetah brothers (yes, they really are brothers) were wrestling in the grass. The elephant was dancing. I kid you not, scroll down to the video. The only animals sleeping when we came to visit were the Koala's, and let's face it, they're adorable awake or asleep. They just looked snuggly.

Grace has a VERY short attention span. All she could talk about was visiting the monkeys when we got to the zoo, and after she saw one monkey, she was pulling on my arm ready to move on. She didn't want to spend more than 10 seconds per exhibit. I've seen it, what else is there? Keep it movin', Mom. And that monkey was close enough to touch! It came right down in front of us and just sat down and started playing with it's tail. Maybe Grace would have paid more attention if the monkey had jumped onto my head. It was close enough.

One of the highlights was Grace riding the camel (again, see video below). That's the first thing she told her brother and sister about when they got home from school.

All in all it was an awesome day, and I'm so glad I could spend it with my Gracie.

All is well

(random picture of Ben's LEGO awesomeness)
(You should see the spaceships... dude)

It's been pointed out to me that I haven't been blogging enough lately.

Let me explain.
No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Buttercup is marrying Humperdink in little less than half an hour...

Sorry, wrong story. I get sidetracked easily.

Summary:
1. Pregnancy
2. Therapy
3. Gymnastics
4. Lots of babies
5. Lessons in fire safety

So we're good? Good.

What, you want more? Fine. Here's the rest of the story.

1. My dog, Elphie the Boston Terrier (best dogs in the world) went and had a romantic weekend in Tucson in January. Actually, it was the same day of the shooting. It was breaking news on the radio while I was driving back from Tucson.

She was there to spend some time with a Boston stud named Romeo. Seriously.
They had good times, got snuggly, and I came home with a pregnant dog. It took us awhile to know for sure, and I know there's still a slight chance I'm wrong, but the dog seriously looks pregnant. She's gained 5 pounds (I can do that with one bag of chocolate, but when you're only 14 pounds to begin with, 5 more is a lot). Her nipples are ginormous and squishy. The kids think they look bizarre, and although a good belly rub is one of her favorite things, we're all kind of avoiding it right now. The vet squished her belly and said he thought he felt one little puppy floating around in there, but it was kind of early to tell. An ultrasound is $350. No thank you, I'll know for sure on or around March 12, which would be her due date.

Anyone want a puppy? Boston Terriers are the BEST!

2. Therapy. So Ben and I have new therapists, and I'm encouraged. He's working on some behavioral techniques that will help him manage his ADHD. He was on a waiting list for a long time to get into this group, so I'm pretty excited. It's been frustrating to get two or three phone calls a week from his teacher because of his behavior in school, so we're all hoping for some improvement. I'm in therapy too, laying on a couch and talking about why the color yellow makes me sad. Then some old guy throws a box of kleenex at my head and said we ought to take a trip to manby-pamby land to find me some self-confidence, you jack wagon! Wait...

3. Ben is thriving in gymnastics, they promoted him to level 2 last week and he's so proud of himself! Austin took a picture on his phone, which I haven't transfered to my laptop, of Ben doing the splits. Now we have lots of pictures of that, but in this one both of Ben's legs are elevated and resting on chairs. He's suspended, and his split is actually inverted a little bit. It makes guys cringe when they look at it. The dude is bendy.

4. The last month has been filled with babies! Josh and Sarah had their baby 8 weeks early, Madilyn, but she's home from the hospital and doing great. I haven't taken my kids to meet her yet because she just seemed so vulnerable. Then Noelle and Eric had their baby, Valette. Grace is enamored because her middle name is Valetta, which is almost spelled the same. Both babies are beautiful and Ember can't wait to be their favorite babysitter.

(kids at the hospital the day Valette was born)

5. Lessons in fire safety. First of all, nothing was seriously damaged and no one was hurt. That being said, the boy is grounded from matches for life. He will never build a campfire, set up a romantic candlelight dinner for his future wife, light a pilot light on a gas stove, light candles on his kids birthday cakes... seriously. Grounded for L.I.F.E.

The setting: Austin was out at a meeting. The kid were watching a really irritating cartoon that I wanted to block out, so I was in my room reading a book. With the door shut. I opened the door to walk out and get a drink and check on the kids, and smelled something funny. I asked if anyone lit a match and they all looked at me like I was insane. I went into the kitchen and garbage can was empty, no bag. Ben told me he took the trash out all by himself. At 8:00 at night. In his pajamas, barefoot. In the cold and dark. Hmm. That's when I noticed the little black ash all over every flat surface in my kitchen. I opened the cupboard that stores the matches, and they weren't up on the shelf, they were taken down. I believe I have enough evidence to proceed.

I hammered all three kids for awhile, even though I knew who did it. They were all scared, but I zeroed in on the kid who volunteered to take the trash out without being asked, without any kind of a reward or threat. The girls went to bed. The boy finally spilled his guts, after swearing for over an hour that he was innocent and after we went out to the dumpster and brought in the evidence.

He lit a match. He didn't know what to do with it, so he threw it away. The trash caught on fire. He threw three cups of water on it to put the fire out. He took the trash bag out to the dumpster. He went back to watching cartoons, thinking his tracks were covered. The trash bag was melted, the styrofoam take-out containers were melted, there was blackened napkins and chopsticks and other things inside and it looked awful. We explained to Ben how lucky he was, because the trash bag is stored in a corner of the kitchen filled with paper and cardboard... he could have lit the entire kitchen on fire, and because I was in my room with the door shut, we could have had a major disaster before I would have even been aware of it.

I KNOW we were watched over and protected that night. I'm grateful Ben was smart enough to throw water on the fire, and that we were able to have a good conversation with him about fire safety and honesty. *whew* What a scary experience.

So..... that's our update. Not so many pictures, I just haven't been taking any. I'll have more next week after Grace and I go to the zoo for the Kindergarten field trip.

Stay tuned for some Grace-isms and funny quips from the other two kids...