The Best 4th of July EVER!

We had a pretty amazing Independence Day weekend, according to our kids it was the "BEST FOURTH OF JULY EVER!!"  (all caps because of the shouting).

It started with the City of Mesa fireworks show on Saturday night.  The show started at 9:30, I got off work at 9:30, and I work for Mesa PD, and the headquarters building is located right in downtown.  My family just met me at work and I let them into the parking garage where we parked on the roof for an awesome view of the show.  My sister and her family came which added awesomeness.

Monday we started early with a parade at 9:00 AM at the church.  All the kids from church decorated their bikes and scooters, or decorated themselves and just walked, and marched around the parking lot.  It was pretty much adorable.  Then the church provided a yummy breakfast.  I had to grab two kids and leave a tad early for swimming lessons, which was also awesome.  Riding bikes in a  parking lot in July in Arizona, followed by a dip in the pool?  Amazing!

Then Mom got a nap.  Always part of a best day ever.

Followed by a trip to Superstition Springs Mall!  We ate lunch in the food court, let Grace jump around in the play area, introduced Ember to the Tinkerbell store (lots of pre-teen ooh's and aah's at all the sparklies), played on the turtle statue, and had all kinds of fun.

Then.... our first 3D movie ever!  It's awesome that the cheap theater also shows 3D movies so we can afford to take the kids, it's only $4 a person.  We saw Rio, and it was hillarious!  Lots of laugh out loud moments, I love to hear my kids giggle.  And the 3D stuff was pretty much awesome, all I'd ever seen before was Captain Eo at Disneyland.

From there we went to Walmart to get all the fixin's for a backyard BBQ, and to purchase some explosives.  The last time I handled a firework was on the farm in Idaho when I was 6 or 7, holding a sparkler.  Good times, good times.

We went to Casey and Celeste's for dinner, since they have a grill that works and has propane.  Plus their yard is across the street from the Mesa Country Club, which had a fireworks show at 9:00 and can be seen from the back yard.  Sweet. 

Austin is a master griller.  Wait, that's not true, I can't lie.  Ask any one of our kids... the hamburgers were kinda crispy.  Grace had the right idea going with barbecued chicken, he mostly got that right.  The strawberries were yummy though, and patriotic! 

After dinner was the hard part... waiting for dark.  It took FOREVER!  (About an  hour and a half, but Ben says that's a lie).  We watched cartoons until it was time to start blowing stuff up.  Austin got to play with the big stuff in the street, and the kids looked on while playing with sparklers.  It's difficult to take pictures of kids at night, in the dark, no flash, with sparklers in the foreground.  I'm NOT a photographer, and the blurry effect is cool anyway, so my pictures are pretty much amazing.  Adria liked the first sparkler she held, but she accidentally grabbed the top of it after it had gone out and burned her fingers a little bit.  The second sparkler we tried to give her was a little scary, I feel bad that I don't have pictures of the first one.  She really did have fun!  Our kids sure do love making their sweet little cousin laugh and smile.

We had cupcakes with patriotic sprinkles while we watched the big show from the back yard, then cleaned up our mess, and came home.  We even had a little time throughout the day to talk about what Independence Day means, why we celebrate it, and Ember and Ben even knew what the fireworks represented!  I want to raise patriotic kids who are proud to be Americans, and appreciate all of the sacrifices that others have made so that they can enjoy the privileges they have.  According to some recent conversations, we're doing a pretty good job of that so far.

Our exhausted kiddos tumbled into bed at 10:00 PM saying it was the best 4th of July ever.  I agree.

I need some Grace

You're the worst Mom ever!
You're the baddest Mom in the world!
I wish you would die!
I wish someone else was my Mom!

Why all the drama?  I wouldn't let her sleep in my bed.

What names is she going to call me when I won't give her the car keys, or take away her cell phone? 

Six is the new sixteen.

Facebook

I'm taking a really long break from Facebook.  I've been considering this for awhile, but recent events have strengthened my resolve to actually do it.

Some of the topics that have come up in therapy for me recently have stemmed from issues relating to Facebook.  Apparently the social rules that we have for face to face polite society don't apply to social networking.

I have a theory that it's something like road rage.  You are in your comfort zone, your own space, (such as the privacy of your car with road rage, or your home with your laptop) and someone does something that offends you.  You are protected by distance, anonymity, lack of immediate consequences (such as a punch in the face).  Overreactions run rampant, anger is quick and fierce, and people say things to friends, family, and perfect strangers on Facebook that they would NEVER say in person. Anonymity makes people bold, and mean!  Does this happen to anyone else?  (I personally only post things on Facebook that I'm perfectly willing to say to someone's face, I don't have an online split personality).

When did it become ok to insult the friend of a friend because you don't like a comment they made?  When did it become appropriate to make someone's Facebook wall your own personal pulpit from which to spew sermons, lectures, and criticisms?  Let's say you overhear a comment you disagree with in line at the grocery store, do you immediately criticize and even insult the people involved, even though they're perfect strangers and weren't even talking to you?  And how do you think they'd react in person?  Why are we surprised that people overreact online as well?  I've had comments so long and so preachy, they were a full sacrament meeting talk!  There's a time and a place people, and my Facebook wall isn't it.

Facebook is supposed to be fun.  Share pictures, jokes, funny things about our kids, jobs, lives.  Vent frustrations, be sarcastic, observe life, get feedback, but don't take it too seriously.  I've unfriended too many people that take Facebook way too seriously and crossed the line to inappropriate.  My status updates are not an invitation for you to insult me, or each other.  If you don't like my sense of humor, unfriend me.  Block me.  I really don't care, because I don't take Facebook that seriously.

Ok, this sounds a little angry and frustrated, but that's how I've been feeling about this lately.  Think about your Facebook friends... ALL of them.  College buddies, Grandmas, cousins, spouses of your spouses cousins, best friends, co-workers, children of friends, siblings, fellow church members... people of all economic, political and religious backgrounds.  Invite them all to your house, at the same time.  Would they all get along?  HELL NO.  So they're going to disagree online as well, and the only thing all these people have in common is ME.  Therefore, my wall has become a battleground.  I've deleted one too many comment threads and sent one too many private e-mails to try and make this behavior stop, but it just isn't stopping.

I don't see this happening on other people's walls, it's like I'm some kind of magnet for inappropriate online behavior.  Seriously, does anyone else share these frustrations?  Please, for the love of all that is techy, please grow some online manners and just be nice.

At least on my wall.  If you want to leave angry comments on someone else's page feel free, I'm not paying their therapy bill.

More Summer Fun and a birthday bash

Homemade pizza night, which the kids have been begging for!  They each had a personal pan sized pizza that they could make however they wanted.  We don't do this often enough.

Our back porch is rotting and falling apart, but the stairs were in the worst shape.  We've had several kids fall down the stairs and get hurt, and the bottom two steps just rotten away completely and you had to jump to get down into the yard.  It was a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Finally Grandpa Lawlor came over and helped us rip down the old steps and rebuild new ones.  Ben got to help with the project, which he enjoyed. Three generations of Lawlor boys playing with plywood and power tools.  It was a moment.
(view from the top of the stairs, Grandpa at the bottom)

Tonight was a combined birthday bash at Peter Piper Pizza, to celebrate Grace turning six and Ben turning nine (which won't actually be until July 19)  We have three summer birthdays, and the parties don't always coincide with their actual date of birth.  We also often combine parties because it's just too much for me to handle three kids between June 6 and July 19.  Grace and Ben each got to invite just a few friends, and we let Ember invite a couple just so she wouldn't be bored.  The total bill was WAY less than planning parties at home, and I didn't have to decorate, entertain, cook, or clean up.  It was the best party EVER!  We still need to do something for Ember later this summer, and I have some ideas about that, but I got two out of three done.  Whew.

That big pile of purple tulle next to Grace is the most beautiful tutu ever made.  Seriously, it's so amazing and sooo well made.  My friend Janalynn makes and sells them, with 100% of the proceeds going towards the medical fund for her son Adam, who has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  To follow Adam's progress go to Adam's Hope on Facebook or visit http://www.dreamweaverhairdesign.com/ to contribute to his medical fund or to order one of your own amazing tutu's.  

Then at the end of a busy and stressful day, I saw this.  Wow.

I love Arizona sunsets.

So there's more of our summer so far, and we're not even halfway done yet!

Family catch up

I haven't blogged about my family in awhile, so I just have a few pictures to add to play catch up.

After the ballet recital, Grace could finally get a summer haircut!  We didn't need to put it up in a bun again for awhile.  Ember is choosing to grow her hair as long as Rapunzel.

Grace's Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Jankunis.  She was amazing with Grace!  She got a special award for being the best artist in the class.  Grace does has a love/hate relationship with markers... she loves them, and I hate them.  But I'm proud of her!

Ben made a birdhouse at Scoutcamp and we've had lots of bird activity, he's very proud of himself.  We caught this hungry bird on our way to the grocery store one day.

Grace face had a birthday, she turned six years old!  We just had a small family party for her, she'll get together with her friends later this month at Peter Piper Pizza.  She couldn't decide what her favorite gift was, a new bike or lip gloss.  We also went to the pool to celebrate her special day.

Our summer has also been filled with the drama of a serial killer in our back yard.  

Does she look menacing to you?  No, sweetest face ever!  She's just developed a taste for chicken.  Our neighbors have chickens and unfortunately the fence between our properties is in serious disrepair.  We've offered to split the cost of a new block wall and they've said no every time.  Our dogs get in their yard, their dogs and chickens get into our yard.  Whichever way it goes, Elphie kills the chickens.  I think the neighbors have finally decided to chip in for that fence.  Good call.



Ember also completed three weeks of summer orchestra and had a concert this past Friday.  I forgot the camera, but she did great.  Advanced orchestra is a little more stressful and she's feeling some discouragement that she can't do everything the first time she tries it.  Remind you of anyone, Mom?  Thankfully Ember's Mom is also a violinist, and I'm always happy to help.  It's fun for both of us.

Future summer plans?  Peter Piper Pizza party for Ben and Grace's birthdays, swim lessons, Ember's birthday and a party for her we haven't planned yet, vacation to California, playing tourist in our own state, and the usual trips to the pool and library. 

And can I just say to Janalynn, I owe you something big for introducing me to www.myjobchart.com.  My kids are motivated, working hard, not complaining... they're like new kids, it's fabulous!  :)

So the kids home for summer hasn't driven me crazy just yet, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm  not looking forward to August 10.   

I am a nice person.

I am a nice person.


I let the car with the blinker on go in front of me in traffic.

I let people go ahead of me in the grocery store, the guy with fewer things, or the Mom with a screaming baby that just wants to go home.


I am quick to offer compliments on someone’s new outfit, hairstyle, beautiful babies or talented kids, a craft project, anything someone might be proud of.

I carry thank you cards in my purse and leave them under the windshield wipers of vehicles carrying a Veteran’s license plate.

And of course as a Mom, I do my best to love and serve my family every day.

I am a NICE person.


Some people aren’t nice, like the guy who honked and flipped me off in traffic today. Maybe he’s nice sometimes, but not today. He was a stranger, and I didn’t take it personally. I didn’t do anything wrong, and he was probably just having a bad day. I can handle that sort of unkindness. It’s generic.


The kind I CAN’T handle, and the kind that I’ve been the victim of lately, is when it is personal.

The kind that doesn’t come from a stranger, it comes directly from someone I know, and someone who knows me.

When it’s someone from the neighborhood / church that critiques my mothering skills, and the observations aren’t good. They’re downright mean.

When I’m called names that I don’t deserve.


Then, a stranger swears at me in church during a baby blessing and calls me a mean mother.


Another stranger yells at me for parking in the wrong place, which I chose because it was shady. Someone parks there every day, but no one complained until it was me that parked there. She knocked on my vehicle window and criticized me in front of my kids.

I have a longer list, I feel like I’m getting dumped on more than normal lately, from people who know me, and people who don’t, but I’ll leave it at this in order to make my point.

I have decided that I don’t have to be treated like that and just accept it. I can stand up for myself, and for my children. I can say “you’re wrong about me, and you’re out of line.” I’ve been doing that for the past month and I’ve discovered something about myself.

I don’t feel nice anymore.

I’m standing up to friends, family, strangers, anyone who attacks my character or abilities, and I’m defending myself. And the more I do it, the more bold I get.

To the woman who told me I had to move my van, I told her to back off, and who was she to tell me where I could park, the police? Did I take your spot, is that why you’re mad?

To the woman who swore at me at church, I turned around and said, “Are you kidding me? Grow up. Be quiet during the prayer, and don’t swear in church.”


To the woman who called me un-Christlike because of how I handled a situation where my son was being bullied and then assaulted, I told her to keep her eye on her own family and quit judging mine. Then I “un-friended” her on Facebook.

I still want to be a nice person. I don’t want to feel bitter, angry, or cynical all the time. I’m beginning to look for opportunities to put someone in their place, instead of looking for opportunities to lift someone up. I don’t like the transformation, but I’m also not ready to go back to laying down and taking it. I’m looking for balance.


How can you be strong and stand up for yourself without becoming hard?


I just want to be nice again.