Tiny dancers

I recorded the entire recital, but Austin captured some great still photos on his phone.  I have such lovely, graceful girls.  On recital days, when they're onstage.  Lovely and graceful is harder to come by when you're still eating breakfast and late for school!  :)

 This is what you get when you ask Grace for a "nice" smile.

I really like it :)

 Look at her up on those tippy toes!

It's every little girl's dream to wear tutu's and dance.

This one's a little blurry, but it's one of my favorites because of that accidental lighting effect.  Good job Austin!

Her hair is so long and thick that it's always been difficult to get it into a nice bun, but we found these amazing "bun forms" at Ulta, and her hair always looks so smooth and perfect and elegant now.

And for the finale she had to pull out all the pins in the bun form and wear her hair down, but look how beautiful it is, so long and wavy!  I have such lovely girls!

One of Ember's closest friends, Maddy Nelson.

It got a little breezy and Ben decided he was freezing.  I wonder how many kids throughout the history of cotton t-shirts have ruined their shirts this way, tucking their knees up inside up to their chin?  I admit it... I did it too as a kid.  Sorry Mom.

To celebrate a job well done we took the kids out to eat, then enjoyed a fun night driving around looking at Christmas lights again.  We found a house that's in the newspaper every year, because Santa always visits the Saturday night before Christmas!  In fact, Austin remembers visiting this house when he was a child, and the owner thought maybe he looked familiar.  Fun!  So we saw Santa, and didn't even have to wait in any lines at the mall, the kids got to remind Santa that we'll be out of town, and they each got TWO candy canes.  It was a fantastic day.

And they danced...

This weekend was the girls Christmas Ballet Recital and they did AMAZING!  I couldn't pick a single video to upload, so I'm adding five.  Two for each girl, and the finale.  Enjoy!

Grace performing to "Jingle Bells"

Ember performing to "Let it Snow"

Grace performing to "Mary's Boy Child"

Ember performing to "O Tannenbaum"

Ember performing to "Feliz Navidad" and the Finale

..

Orchestra Concert

This is a bit late, but Ember and Ben participated in the Franklin Elementary Orchestra concert on December 6, and they both did a great job.  It was Ben's first concert and I was very impressed.  That boy has natural talent, and he played with confidence.  Ember was able to memorize her final piece of music and participate in the strolling strings, walking around the room as she played the theme from ice castles.  It was a really fun night.

They sounded much better than I remember sounding when I was in elementary school playing the violin...

Here's a couple videos of Ben & Ember playing.

Warning: Christmas spirit ahead... proceed with kleenex

Ember was given a writing prompt today, and this is the poem she wrote.  Wow.

"I am"

I am Mary.
I wonder what my baby boy will bring to the world.
I hear my baby.
I see the Savior.
I want my boy to save the world.
I am Mary.

I understand that my baby will leave me someday.
I say, "I love you my boy".
I dream that Jesus is the Savior.
I try to be a good mother.
I hope that He will love me.
I am Mary.


by Ember Lawlor, age 11 1/2, 6th grade.

I know this is late...

I just got copies of these pictures from my sis-in-law Noelle, so even though it's from October I'm going to post it now.

Last year we started a tradition with the Lawlor girls... (one of which is an original, the others are married into... it's awesome).  Who knew when Vicki was raising 6 sons and only 1 sweet daughter, that she would end up with a HOUSE FULL of sweet daughters one day?

But I digress... our tradition.  We decided that one weekend a year, in the fall, we would recklessly abandon our husbands and children and make a trip north to the family cabin for a girls weekend.  This year we went October 14-16.  Here's a couple group shots of those able to attend (we missed you Shelley!!!)

 Jill, Vicki, Cindy, Sarah, Noelle, Celeste, and the babies...

 Madilyn and Valette!

Celeste, Noelle, and Mom kind of switched around and took turns being in the picture because it's hard to remember how to use the automatic timer on a really expensive camera with a hundred thousand menu's.  Or something like that.

And for flashback fun, here's last year's trip, which we took at the end of September!

2010 Girls Weekend

I hope we never stop doing this, no matter how old we get.  And a great big thank you to our Lawlor boys (fantastic men who Vicki raised so well) who take care of home and family while we are away.

A common misconception

Last year my daughter Ember was concerned at the use of "X-mas" in Christmas cards, advertising, and a note from a friend.  We did what most Christian parents do, tell her that it was inappropriate because it X's out the Christ in Christmas, and to ignore it when you see it and never use it herself.

Then we did a little research based on something Austin overheard, and here's what we found out.

The 'X' actually represents the Greek letter Chi, and is the first letter in the Greek word  Χριστός.
Translated, it means Christ.  The 'mas' part is from the Latin derived word for 'Mass', one of the names which the sacrament is called in the Catholic Church.  It is a memorial of the crucifixion and resurrection, or the Holy Sacrifice.

The second letter used in Χριστός is Rho, and paired together, Chi Rho, literally translates to Christ.  XR is a christogram, like a monogram, that represents the Savior.  The 'p' is often removed leaving the 'X' as the remaining symbol that truly represents our Savior.

(The Chi Rho christogram, a symbol of Christ)

So saying Merry X-mas is NOT X-ing Christ out of the holiday, it is actually a symbol of Him and of his sacrifice.  X=Christ, 'mas'=sacrifice, or sacrament.  

Once we explained this to the kids they were more comfortable when they saw that abbreviation.  I bring it up again this year because there have been concerns brought up on facebook by my friends and family who are Christian that this is inappropriate, and they are teaching their children that it is NOT ok to use the Chi Rho, or the X-mas abbreviation, to the point of making their kids feel afraid of it, or bad for having used it.

If you are more comfortable with spelling out the complete word, I understand.  I like to spell out the name of Christ also.  But I think we should dispel the misinformation, fear, and judgement of those who use the abbreviation and be more accepting.  

In general.

About everything.

Christ is our judge, we shouldn't judge each other but only follow his commandment to love one another.  Especially at this time of year when we celebrate his birth, and his entry into mortality to do what His Father sent Him to do.

So Merry X-mas to you, and Merry Christmas to you... it means the same, and I mean it from my heart.

A date which will live in infamy

This is kind of a long post... if you want, you can come back later when you have more time :)


I am so grateful that my children attend a school that emphasizes patriotism, because that's something that I've always tried to teach them at home.  Their flag was flown at half mast today and two of my three kids could tell me why.  Grace wasn't paying attention during the assembly :)

Because today, 70 years later, we remember and honor those who died at Pearl Harbor, the attack on our nation that brought the United States into World War II.

My Grandpa Shipley served in the Army in that war, receiving several citations and medals for bravery.  My Grandpa Meacham served in the Air Force as an Officer.  Austin's Grandpa  Jennings served in the Navy, and was AT Pearl Harbor the day of the attack, stationed on the U.S.S. Tennessee.  Our family history is rich with heroes, both in and out of the military.

Ember asked me why it was so important to remember that day, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy.  I told her that we always need to honor and remember our fallen heroes.  We need to remember why the United States got involved in the war.  We need to remember that there are things worth fighting for.  We need to review the tragedies and mistakes of the past so we don't repeat them.

As many of you already know, I leave thank you notes on the windshields of vehicles bearing a Veteran license plate.  The kids have gotten very good at helping me spot them.  The content of my note is simple, I just point out that I noticed their license plate and wanted to share my respect and gratitude for their sacrifice and service for our country.  It isn't unnoticed, I wish I could do more than just leave a card, and I am very thankful for them.

Today I had to pull the kids out of school for a couple hours for a dentist appointment.  In the parking lot of the dental office, we found a Veteran plate.  I was out of handwritten cards, but I had already purchased a new package that was still sealed, all the cards blank.   (I like to write them in advance so I can leave one in a hurry if I have to).  We rushed into the dentist office, checked everybody in, then opened up the thank you cards.  I wrote my usual note, then left room for each of my kids to write their own thank you.  I sealed the envelope and let Ember be the one to sneak out to the vehicle and carefully place it under a windshield wiper (so it wouldn't fly away).

The kids were thrilled with themselves.  We saw the driver of the vehicle later, and it was an elderly woman in her 80's or even 90's.  There's a good chance that either she or her husband was a WWII Veteran.  That made the gift today a little bit more poignant and meaningful to the kids.  The idea of lifting someone's spirit anonymously was thrilling to them.

After we finished our appointments and had pronouncements of no cavities all around, we went out to eat.  We like Wendy's, because everything the kids like is 99 cents.  While they were eating, we were all talking about our nations Veterans, and we were talking about today's' remembrance of that one event that changed American History.  I was asking them to do the math, 1941 to 2011, and figure out what anniversary it was.  We talked about their great-grandfathers who had sacrificed and served, and what we can do to honor them now, even though they've passed on.  We talked about the importance of knowing and understanding the history of our country, and how we can be good citizens today.

The kids got up to use the bathroom or refill their drinks or something, but I was alone for a minute at the table.  An elderly gentleman sitting at the next table leaned over to me and said, "I just wanted to say thank you."

Huh?  What?

"Thank you for teaching your children the truth, for teaching them history.  You have very thoughtful and intelligent children.  You seem like a very patriotic family."

I thanked him profusely, and I was so proud of my kids at that moment.  I was proud of myself.  I am proud of my country.  I have never been given such a high compliment from a stranger before, and it literally brought me to tears several times today remembering it.  I really am so proud to be an American, and I am doing my best to make sure my kids are too.  I'm trying to teach them honor and respect for those who serve them, and protect them, sometimes at the cost of their lives.

So on this Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, I hope everyone took a moment to appreciate the freedoms we have, the lives that were lost to gain and protect them, and the amazing example that the Greatest Generation has set for us, their posterity.

God Bless the USA.

.

He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action!

They restocked the kids sizes!  

Matching shirts for Mother and Son of Perry the Platypus.  

AKA:  Agent P, Secret Agent.  

We are now officially Super Cool.

Ember wanted me to tell you, my faithful blog readers, that she took this picture.  She's a photographer now!

.

Make that three...

Ok, third post of the day.  I just wanted to post a few more Christmas pictures, some of my finished projects, after the room was cleaned up and the kids were gone.  I love the little details around the room, things you don't really see when looking at the big picture.

I didn't do a single thing with the tree this year.  Last year I was obsessive, every branch had to be shaped just right, and the entire tree had a color scheme.  I hardly  let the kids touch it, and it wasn't any fun, even though the tree was so beautiful.  I decided that this year's tree, done entirely by the kids without  my help at all, is just as beautiful.  And they had way more fun than they did last year.  Priorities.

I'll still be wearing my Grinch shirt and having my grumpy moments, but this picture sure does put me in the Christmas spirit.  Maybe my Grinch's small heart will grow three sizes this year.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Thanksgiving was fantastic.  We enjoyed dinner with Austin's parents, their kids, spouses, and grandkids and it was a large crowd.  Now that it's over, NOW is the time for Christmas decorations and music.  Not before.  One holiday at a time, thankyouverymuch.

I skipped Black Friday by sleeping in, staying in my pajamas, and watching movies.  It was awesome.  Saturday my friend Susan took another friend and I out to a movie and lunch for our November birthdays, and we saw the Muppets.  I definitely reccomend this movie for kids of all ages, and kids at heart who watched the Muppet show on TV growing up.  It was very nostalgic, funny, had some great celebrity appearances, and fun music.  I can't wait to see it again with my family.

After my morning out with the girls, I came home to find that my husband had not only put up our Christmas tree and wrapped it with lights, he had also done the dishes and a load of laundry.  (Back up ladies, he's MINE.  And there's no secret to training him... he seriously just came that way).

I got home just in time to watch and record the kids decorate the tree.  Our house looks and sounds like Christmas now (love Christmas playlists on the iPod).  It was a good day.  Happy Holidays, and let the serious shopping begin!

 So sweet, Daddy can still (barely) rock his little girl.

 I found this idea on Pinterest... I actually DID it!  I'm really excited about how it turned out, but I'm even more excited that I actually accomplished something that I pinned.  Yay me!

Gymnastics presentation

Two posts in a row, back to back, because I didn't have time to do this last week.  First I'll post about Ben's gymnastics show, and then I'll post about our Christmas decorating afternoon.

Ben was in level 2 boys gymnastics this year at Desert Devils, and November 19 was their show and awards presentations.  Ben did a great job, and we all had fun.  Austin even climbed the rope to the ceiling at the end, just to prove he could!

 The boys trophies were giving each other high fives.  I love boys :)

Here's Ben getting his trophy, and the boys immediately start playing with them like they're action figures.

After one final bow, Ben stabs himself in the stomach.

Then as we were leaving, kids and families were allowed to walk around and use the equipment.  The girls had a blast climbing on the bars and jumping on the trampoline, but Austin decided he was going to climb the rope all the way to the top.  (What did Mom play with?  The camera.  That's it).  Austin made it, hooray!  (He was pretty sore the next day)

Time Out for Women: part 2, plus some other stuff

I realized today that I never finished reporting on what I learned from Time Out for Women.  Then I realized that the following picture represents the mood I've been in ever since.  Behold, my Mascot:

Yea, I'm kind of a grinch this time of year.  I fully embrace my grinchiness and was THRILLED to find this t-shirt at Walmart.  I actually bought two, so if I play my laundry cards right, I could wear this face a couple times a week.

My bad mood is currently being caused by a multitude of things, but especially the names I've been called by the "campaign of civility" after our recent election.  My candidate lost, the recall was successful, and the gloaters have called me things that I can't post on this blog, because I have some very nice readers with delicate eyes.  They were hateful, which is so ironic because of what they claimed their candidate would bring to Arizona politics.  Civility.  *cough*bullshit*cough*  Sorry, a bad word slipped out, I couldn't help it.  Haters bring it out in me, and remember... right now I'm the grinchiest grinch there ever was.  There are other causes for it too, things happening with my kids, the school, the doctors, the budget, the holidays, the car repairs, the office, the insomnia, the doctors who are ignoring me and my breathing problems...

My bad mood usually passes sometime after New Years, but I'll try and lift it for a moment while I report on the second day of Time Out for Women.  Let's get out of the negativity for a moment and be happy!

The Saturday session had some GREAT speakers, and Hillary Weeks did some great storytelling and sang some silly songs, and spiritual songs.

Mary Ellen Edmunds spoke first about identity theft.  Satan wants to steal my identity, he wants to make me forget who I am, and who I'm meant to become.  She also said something interesting, she said that where I am today is no surprise to God.  My struggles with depression, with faith, with enduring, with giving up... it's no surprise to Him, He expected me to be here.  I'm just supposed to move from point A to point B and become who I'm supposed to become, and it's a slow process so don't beat yourself up.

Hillary Weeks talked about an experiment that she tried in her home for two weeks.  She read an article in a national news magazine that said the average woman thinks 300 negative thoughts a day, and she wanted to find out if this was true or not.  She got herself a "clicker" (that's what she calls it, it just one of those little devices that counts up every time you click it).  She told her family what she was doing so they would know what that thing was she was wearing around her wrist, and she started her Monday keeping track of those negative thoughts.  She got in the car at 7:30 to take the kids to school and her daughter said, "Mom, it's only 7:30 and you've already had 13 negative thoughts!?"  *click*  Make that 14.  So she covered it with masking tape so no one could see the numbers until the end off the day.  Her first day she had about 170 negative thoughts.  Gradually throughout the week she noticed the number going up a little bit, but it never got to 300.

Then she noticed that weekend that she was in a really bad mood.  She tried to pray, and she couldn't because she was just so angry!  She realized that by focusing on negativity all the time, she was becoming a negative person and driving away the spirit.

So she changed the experiment.  She decided to keep track of only her positive thoughts.  That first Monday she had over 400.  By the end of the week, she was sure her kids had been playing with it but they swore they hadn't touched it all day, but at the end of the day Friday the number was over 1000.  She had the spirit back, and she was feeling more gratitude and more happiness just because that's where she was putting her focus.  That was meaningful to me, because I do give a lot of focus and energy to the negative things in my life.  There's positives too, and I think I need to start that same experiment for myself.

You can buy the "clicker" on Hillary Weeks website, they're not much, and it sounds like lots of fun.

I can't remember where these next few quotes came from, there were several good speakers in a row and I didn't attribute them to anyone in my journal.

* I am real.  I am God's little girl.

* Remember who my children are.

* I am the perfect Mom for MY kids.

* We can have a bad day but still have a great life.

* Life is a sequence that begins in choices and ends in consequences.

* We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become.

And here's a goal I set for myself, based on something one of the speakers said:  I'm going to look in the mirror every day, study my face, and ponder who I am meant to be.  Today?  In the future?  Who am I supposed to become?  How am I going to get there?  Maybe it's positive affirmations in the mirror every day, like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, but I liked the idea.  Stare at myself and remember that I'm a daughter of God, He loves me, and He has plans for me.

My FAVORITE speaker was Kristin Belcher.  After the conference was over I went to the bookstore and bought one of her books, which I read in two days, and it was amazing.  Her story is available online, but she spoke about finding holy places wherever you are and about understanding that God wants her to become someone specific, and if this is the path she needs to take to become that person, then so be it.  Her faith was incredible, and her sense of humor is awesome!  She's had cancer twice, at least 10 surgeries starting at the age of 7 months, and is now completely blind.  I think I can find a YouTube clip, just a minute, I'll be right back...

Found a couple, YAY!  You're gonna LOVE her...



So, Time Out for Women was AWESOME and I was a better person for about two days.  In a row.  It was epic.  Now I'm the grinch again, but I'll work on that.

Now for some random funny family fun.

Ember and I accidentally dressed the same for church on Sunday, all black and white.  And yes, that is the PERFECT pencil skirt I was talking about a few weeks ago.  Don't we look darling?  :)

And today after school Grace asked for her usual snack, a tortilla.  She eats it like this every day, she bites out holes for the eyes, nose, and mouth.  She's perfected her technique.  I know it's past Halloween, but this picture is just a little bit creepy.  Maybe she can go as "Tortilla Face" next year for Halloween.

That's all for now.  I actually have a couple huge, long stories to tell that I'm not sure I'll put on the blog or not, because they're very grinchy and probably won't do anyone any good by reading about them.  And this post is already long enough!!

I talk too much.  (or type too much, whatever)

I am the 1%

There's been a lot of talk in the media this year about the 99% and the 1%.

 I am the 1%, but I'm not rich and this isn't about taxes.

Those two numbers?  We've heard them before.  Matthew 18 and Luke 15, in the New Testament.  A man has 100 sheep and one gets lost.  99 are just fine, and safe, but one is wandering lost and afraid.  Wouldn't that man go in search of the one that is lost?  Isn't that one just as important as the other 99?

I think I'm going to form a club; Mormons with Mental Illness.  Sometimes we're lost and sometimes we're found.  Our testimonies come and go.  Darkness envelopes us as often as the light does, maybe more so.

Or maybe I can't speak for everyone with a mental illness, maybe I should only speak for myself.  After all, I'm referring to myself as the "one" that is lost.

I don't really fit in.  I make public mistakes, I am so outspoken that I hurt people's feelings, I avoid opportunities for service because I'm afraid I'll fail or let someone down, or I just don't have the energy to get out of bed to do them.  I can be sacrilegious and hypocritical in public, and then I berate myself in private for not being perfect.  Sometimes I'm proud to speak about how my illness has actually strengthened me, but most times I'm ashamed of it, as if it were something I brought on myself through personal choices.

I've had powerful spiritual experiences that have strengthened me, uplifted me, and sustained me through some very dark moments, and years.  I've also embraced the fear, anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, and hopelessness that presses in on me every day and I've pulled the covers back over my head and shut out the light because I didn't want it, even though it wanted me.

During all the media coverage over these past months talking about the divide in our country, and the 99% vs. the 1%, I've thought of this parable in the scriptures EVERY time.  I can't hear those two numbers together without thinking of the Savior.  Knowing myself to be the one that is lost, and sometimes the one that chooses to be lost and stay lost, it's been good for me to have these constant reminders, coming to me in a very unusual way.  It's good for me to be reminded that the Savior is always looking for me, waiting for me, preparing to help me even if I come back injured or broken.  Even when I don't want Him to find me, He won't stop looking.

Today I feel found, but there's a good chance I'll run away from home again tomorrow.  Thank goodness He knows my favorite places to hide.

Time Out for Women: part 1

I went to Time Out for Women tonight with my Mom and sister Sharon and some of Sharon's in-laws and I really enjoyed myself.  This conference for women is sponsored by Deseret Book and it originally started in Phoenix years ago, they've traveled across the country, but they always come back to Phoenix.  It's music and motivational speakers that help women take a deep breath, relax, and take a time out.  I'll post more about the things I was impressed by or learned about later, but tonight before I go to bed I just wanted to post a link to this song... Macy Robison was the musician who sang for us at the conference tonight, and she sang this song, one of my favorite songs in all of musical theater.  Obviously this isn't Macy singing in the video, it's Bernadette Peters, whom I also love.  The song is "Children will Listen" from the musical "Into the Woods."  The lyrics are so true, and resonate with me every time I hear it.  The message fit well into tonight's event, so I thought I'd share the YouTube video so you can hear and love the song too.

Careful the things you say... children will listen.



Guide them then step away... children will glisten.