this IS my therapy

Pompom rainbow tutu's!

2012-02-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

Follow this link to my sister-in-laws blog (she's so adorable, and an awesome photographer). She uploaded a bunch of pictures of her daughter's and her niece's double rainbow birthday party, which includes shots of the rainbow tutu's my friend and I made for them. I saw this picture on Pinterest, and decided I had to copy it for my sweet nieces. They turned out perfect, and the girls looked adorable! Happy birthday Adria & Valette!

School Parties

2012-02-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I helped out with the kids class parties today at school, and took a few photos while I was there. I forgot the pull the camera out in Ember's class because I was busy scooping the ice cream, and my hands were sticky, sorry Ember! But her homemade valentine was the hit of the class, kids in other rooms heard about how cool it was and asked to see it at recess. Awesome!

Ben's class played the donut on a string game, and he did great! He competed next to his best friend Henry, who won the game. But everybody wins, because they all got to eat donuts!

Grace was really proud of her Valentine bag she made, and the best gift she received all day? Pencil and paper. That's my artist!

Also? I have the cutest cubscout in the world.

(sorry about the crappy lighting)

Pinterest Valentines

2012-02-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

I finished making the kids Valentine's to pass out during their class parties tomorrow. I'm a procrastinator, but they turned out fabulous if I do say so myself! Thank you to Pinterest for the idea! And I took these pictures using my brand new camera, which I saved and saved for and paid cash. Just a side note, I'm patting myself on the back :) It's just a small Fuji FinePix F500EXR, something to fit in my purse so I don't have to carry my bulky camera around on family outings, and so I don't have to rely on my unreliable camera phone. Yay!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog post:

Happy Valentine's Day from the Lawlor kids!!

...of the people, by the people, for the people...

2012-02-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

All my kids are in the Franklin school system, and every grading period (six weeks) they are required to memorize and recite a poem in front of the class. Grace started this in Kindergarten, with easier poems, and Ember is still doing it in sixth grade, with increased difficulty. This most recent grading period her class was asked to memorize Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address... the whole thing. Ember saw the length of it and was overwhelmed, but she got to work without complaint. We had several discussions about the words she was learning, what they meant, and why they're still relevant today. Today was the day she was assigned to pass it off in class. She went to school armed with hours of study, a blessing from her Dad and prayers from her family, and she NAILED IT! I am one proud Mama! I asked her to recite it just one more time, so I could capture it on film and share it with the entire internet :)

Goofy Golfing!

2012-02-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to Golfland tonight for their first ever round of goofy golf, or miniature golf. They did so great, and we had so much fun! Nobody used their golf clubs as swords or baseball bats, no one fell in the water, and no one got in a fight! And best of all, Mom won! Ok, that wasn't the BEST part, but it was a bonus for sure.

Gracie, you're holding it wrong! :)

I SCREAM

2012-01-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Starting with verse 2, then the chorus, this is ME.
My song. This is what I do. I scream.

My latest review on www.Goodreads.com

2012-01-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

Must read!! There are three in all, the series is called "Sisters of the Quilt." I just finished book 1, and I can't wait to start reading book 2! Click on the links below to read my full review.
When the Heart Cries by Cindy Woodsmall
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

2011-12-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

This post is probably going to be REALLY long, and photo intensive. It's a 3-day out-of-town holiday-weekend post, so long is to be expected.

Christmas is always a busy time, with out of town guests, extended family, and lots of parties. We decided that this year we would try and have our Christmas in the mountains, at the family cabin, in the snow, and all alone... just us five. It meant packing up a tree, gifts, and all the regular traveling necessities. It meant being away from Grandma's and Grandpa's on Christmas morning. It meant making a few sacrifices, but we were willing to give it a shot, just to make some new and special memories.

We left on Christmas Eve morning, driving on roads with some ice and a few snow flurrries coming from the trees, and landed in Overgaard around lunchtime. While Austin and I unpacked (after he shoveled out the driveway so we could park), our kids played in the heavy snow on the ground left from the most recent storm. (Cool side story: our kids have been praying for snow all week, and there was lots to be played with when we arrived. We didn't have a storm while we were there, but the day we left the sun warmed up and the snow started to melt... it was preserved through Christmas day, so our kids prayers could be answered.) They made snow angels, threw snowballs, and Austin and Grace made Snowman the Hutt. We threw socks and pants in the drier more than a few times for 3 days, laid out shoes on the heater to dry out, then threw it all back on again to go back outside.

We set up a small 4 1/2 foot tree, put our presents around it, and that was it for decorations. Our Christmas Eve traditions were many, we kept a few precious ones and added some new ones. Instead of a fancy dinner, which we had no room to pack, we made homemade pizza and had Martinelli's sparkling apple cider. We each opened one present, our Christmas pajamas, and snuggled up for the evening. We read the Tale of Three Trees, and Luke 2, and talked about the Savior. We bore testimonies and cried. We watched the Muppet Christmas Carol and Mom sang along to almost every song. Then we talked about the movie, the meaning of Christmas and having the Christmas spirit. We tucked the kids into bed at 11:00 and waited...

Christmas morning was so much fun! Thank goodness the kids had let Santa know we were going to be out of town! He found us just fine, stuffed our stockings and left our gifts and covered our tiny tree with candy canes. Ember came downstairs first at 4:00 AM, using a glow stick to find her way, and kept sneaking into the bedroom to see if we were awake yet. She did that several times until I finally got up and turned on her lamp, and told her to read a book until everyone else woke up. 6:00 AM was my limit. She could hardly stand it, and when the other two finally woke up around 5:30 she started pushing my 6AM boundary. I gave in, but Austin waited until six. He got a head cold, was feeling lousy, and needed all the sleep he could get.

We cheered at Santa's arrival and his thoughtfulness and his good memory, he got exactly the right things, and found the cabin without any trouble at all! We opened presents, said thank-you's, gave hugs, and got ready for a fun Christmas morning breakfast. I put green food coloring in the batter for our waffles, cut them into triangles, diced up strawberries, grapes and pineapple, fried up some bacon, and we had the perfect ingredients for making Christmas Tree waffles. They turned out so cute, and were delicious!

The rest of the day was playing with toys, playing in the snow, watching our new movies, taking naps, and having fun. Christmas dinner was just tortellini's with Sprite and frozen grape Koolaid ice cubes. (A lot of my ideas this year came from Pinterest... thank you!!) (And for other Pinterest enthusiasts, the glow stick liquid poured into bubbles does NOT make glow-in-the-dark bubbles... but bubbles DO freeze when you blow them at 32 degrees or below.)

Sunday night I finally slept... first time in at least three days. Monday we cleaned up the decorations, the presents, the laundry, and the cabin. We packed up the van to the hilt and brought Christmas home. Now my house is trashed, and I get to clean up the Christmas decorations we had put up here before we left! While Austin and I clean, the kids play their new video games, watch their new movies, and play with their new toys.

It's good to be a child at Christmas.

Hooray for traditions. Hooray for making memories. Hooray for answered prayers. Hooray for safety. Hooray for clean laundry! Hooray for family.

Hooray for Christmas!

That's the driveway... Austin had to wade through it to get to the garage, where the snow shovel was.

Ben helped with some of the shoveling.

Too excited to get properly dressed, the kids waded out into the snow.

The kids each made a snow angel

Working on the snowman, Jabba.

Grace found an icicle for his nose.

Mom, my hands are cold!

Meet Jabba the Snowman!

Grace made a baby snowman, all by herself!

We forgot a star for the tree, so Grace made us one

using K'nex toys. Good job Grace!

Christmas Eve presents... pajamas!

The first one up, 4:00 AM.

Angry Birds!!

Santa remembered!

Opening presents... some of our favorites:

Ben, all things Harry Potter!

Ember, a beautiful framed violin photograph,

taken by her Aunt Noelle, a great photographer.

Grace, a ream of paper and colored pencils. Really.

Mom... cleanup. Best Christmas ever! Really!

Christmas tree waffles... before...

... and after! So much fun!

The Grinch, pictured here, forgot my presents at home. So my t-shirt is even funnier. BUT... I didn't care! That wasn't what this trip, or this holiday, was about. This was really the best Christmas I've had in a long time, because of the time spent together and the memories made. So I forgive you, Mr. Grinch! :)

Merry Christmas from the Lawlor family, I hope yours was as wonderful as ours was!
..

Leaf me alone!

2011-12-20T17:50:00.002-07:00

Thanks to the rainstorms, our pecan trees have shed their bounty of leaves. Also thanks to the rain, they aren't covered in the usual sticky sap, they're getting perfectly crunchy as they are drying out. The lawn is COVERED with them. The perfect playground for a child!

Ben and his best bud Katie decided to play games in the leaves today, including the game where they bury each other and pretend they're dead. (?) I got involved to help Katie get her arms totally covered, it's hard to bury your own arms, and then out came Dad with the camera. They look adorable!

Also, does THIS make you want orange juice? Or to just bite into that orange peel, skipping the peeling process to get to the center? Doesn't it just make you thirsty for orangy goodness??

And THESE make me want pie. And lemon bars. And lemonade. And lemon crinkle cookies. And lemon flavored anything, my tree is overflowing with beautiful yellow lemons!

I love my backyard. The end.

Last post today, I promise!

2011-12-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ember's always wanted curly hair, but using heat to curl it never works. It's straight as a pin and very resistant to curlers, curling irons, flat irons, everything. So we've been experimenting with no-heat curls, trying things like the sock bun, braids, regular twisted buns... still not the beautiful ringlets that she's always wanted.

Until I found these at Walgreens:

We washed Ember's hair last night, blow dried it

until it was slightly damp, and rolled her hair up

in about 8 of these things. They're very easy to use.

They were still wrapped tight when she woke up this morning,

and when we unrolled them, here's what we got!

This is one HAPPY 11 year old this morning!

While we were shaping Ember's hair to perfection,

Ben was playing with my comb.

So I said to him, "Ben... I moustache you a question."

To which he replied, "That's very Pinteresting."

Well played, son :)

I have such funny kids!

Tiny dancers

2011-12-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

I recorded the entire recital, but Austin captured some great still photos on his phone. I have such lovely, graceful girls. On recital days, when they're onstage. Lovely and graceful is harder to come by when you're still eating breakfast and late for school! :)

This is what you get when you ask Grace for a "nice" smile.

I really like it :)

Look at her up on those tippy toes!

It's every little girl's dream to wear tutu's and dance.

This one's a little blurry, but it's one of my favorites because of that accidental lighting effect. Good job Austin!

Her hair is so long and thick that it's always been difficult to get it into a nice bun, but we found these amazing "bun forms" at Ulta, and her hair always looks so smooth and perfect and elegant now.

And for the finale she had to pull out all the pins in the bun form and wear her hair down, but look how beautiful it is, so long and wavy! I have such lovely girls!

One of Ember's closest friends, Maddy Nelson.

It got a little breezy and Ben decided he was freezing. I wonder how many kids throughout the history of cotton t-shirts have ruined their shirts this way, tucking their knees up inside up to their chin? I admit it... I did it too as a kid. Sorry Mom.

To celebrate a job well done we took the kids out to eat, then enjoyed a fun night driving around looking at Christmas lights again. We found a house that's in the newspaper every year, because Santa always visits the Saturday night before Christmas! In fact, Austin remembers visiting this house when he was a child, and the owner thought maybe he looked familiar. Fun! So we saw Santa, and didn't even have to wait in any lines at the mall, the kids got to remind Santa that we'll be out of town, and they each got TWO candy canes. It was a fantastic day.

And they danced...

2011-12-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the girls Christmas Ballet Recital and they did AMAZING! I couldn't pick a single video to upload, so I'm adding five. Two for each girl, and the finale. Enjoy!

Grace performing to "Jingle Bells"

Ember performing to "Let it Snow"

Grace performing to "Mary's Boy Child"

Ember performing to "O Tannenbaum"

Ember performing to "Feliz Navidad" and the Finale

Orchestra Concert

2011-12-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

This is a bit late, but Ember and Ben participated in the Franklin Elementary Orchestra concert on December 6, and they both did a great job. It was Ben's first concert and I was very impressed. That boy has natural talent, and he played with confidence. Ember was able to memorize her final piece of music and participate in the strolling strings, walking around the room as she played the theme from ice castles. It was a really fun night.

They sounded much better than I remember sounding when I was in elementary school playing the violin...

Here's a couple videos of Ben & Ember playing.

Warning: Christmas spirit ahead... proceed with kleenex

2011-12-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

Ember was given a writing prompt today, and this is the poem she wrote. Wow.

"I am"

I am Mary.
I wonder what my baby boy will bring to the world.
I hear my baby.
I see the Savior.
I want my boy to save the world.
I am Mary.

I understand that my baby will leave me someday.
I say, "I love you my boy".
I dream that Jesus is the Savior.
I try to be a good mother.
I hope that He will love me.
I am Mary.

by Ember Lawlor, age 11 1/2, 6th grade.

I know this is late...

2011-12-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

I just got copies of these pictures from my sis-in-law Noelle, so even though it's from October I'm going to post it now.

Last year we started a tradition with the Lawlor girls... (one of which is an original, the others are married into... it's awesome). Who knew when Vicki was raising 6 sons and only 1 sweet daughter, that she would end up with a HOUSE FULL of sweet daughters one day?

But I digress... our tradition. We decided that one weekend a year, in the fall, we would recklessly abandon our husbands and children and make a trip north to the family cabin for a girls weekend. This year we went October 14-16. Here's a couple group shots of those able to attend (we missed you Shelley!!!)

Jill, Vicki, Cindy, Sarah, Noelle, Celeste, and the babies...

Madilyn and Valette!

Celeste, Noelle, and Mom kind of switched around and took turns being in the picture because it's hard to remember how to use the automatic timer on a really expensive camera with a hundred thousand menu's. Or something like that.

And for flashback fun, here's last year's trip, which we took at the end of September!

2010 Girls Weekend

I hope we never stop doing this, no matter how old we get. And a great big thank you to our Lawlor boys (fantastic men who Vicki raised so well) who take care of home and family while we are away.

A common misconception

2011-12-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

Last year my daughter Ember was concerned at the use of "X-mas" in Christmas cards, advertising, and a note from a friend. We did what most Christian parents do, tell her that it was inappropriate because it X's out the Christ in Christmas, and to ignore it when you see it and never use it herself.

Then we did a little research based on something Austin overheard, and here's what we found out.

The 'X' actually represents the Greek letter Chi, and is the first letter in the Greek word Χριστός.
Translated, it means Christ. The 'mas' part is from the Latin derived word for 'Mass', one of the names which the sacrament is called in the Catholic Church. It is a memorial of the crucifixion and resurrection, or the Holy Sacrifice.

The second letter used in Χριστός is Rho, and paired together, Chi Rho, literally translates to Christ. XR is a christogram, like a monogram, that represents the Savior. The 'p' is often removed leaving the 'X' as the remaining symbol that truly represents our Savior.

(The Chi Rho christogram, a symbol of Christ)

So saying Merry X-mas is NOT X-ing Christ out of the holiday, it is actually a symbol of Him and of his sacrifice. X=Christ, 'mas'=sacrifice, or sacrament.

Once we explained this to the kids they were more comfortable when they saw that abbreviation. I bring it up again this year because there have been concerns brought up on facebook by my friends and family who are Christian that this is inappropriate, and they are teaching their children that it is NOT ok to use the Chi Rho, or the X-mas abbreviation, to the point of making their kids feel afraid of it, or bad for having used it.

If you are more comfortable with spelling out the complete word, I understand. I like to spell out the name of Christ also. But I think we should dispel the misinformation, fear, and judgement of those who use the abbreviation and be more accepting.

In general.

About everything.

Christ is our judge, we shouldn't judge each other but only follow his commandment to love one another. Especially at this time of year when we celebrate his birth, and his entry into mortality to do what His Father sent Him to do.

So Merry X-mas to you, and Merry Christmas to you... it means the same, and I mean it from my heart.

A date which will live in infamy

2011-12-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is kind of a long post... if you want, you can come back later when you have more time :)

I am so grateful that my children attend a school that emphasizes patriotism, because that's something that I've always tried to teach them at home. Their flag was flown at half mast today and two of my three kids could tell me why. Grace wasn't paying attention during the assembly :)

Because today, 70 years later, we remember and honor those who died at Pearl Harbor, the attack on our nation that brought the United States into World War II.

My Grandpa Shipley served in the Army in that war, receiving several citations and medals for bravery. My Grandpa Meacham served in the Air Force as an Officer. Austin's Grandpa Jennings served in the Navy, and was AT Pearl Harbor the day of the attack, stationed on the U.S.S. Tennessee. Our family history is rich with heroes, both in and out of the military.

Ember asked me why it was so important to remember that day, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy. I told her that we always need to honor and remember our fallen heroes. We need to remember why the United States got involved in the war. We need to remember that there are things worth fighting for. We need to review the tragedies and mistakes of the past so we don't repeat them.

As many of you already know, I leave thank you notes on the windshields of vehicles bearing a Veteran license plate. The kids have gotten very good at helping me spot them. The content of my note is simple, I just point out that I noticed their license plate and wanted to share my respect and gratitude for their sacrifice and service for our country. It isn't unnoticed, I wish I could do more than just leave a card, and I am very thankful for them.

Today I had to pull the kids out of school for a couple hours for a dentist appointment. In the parking lot of the dental office, we found a Veteran plate. I was out of handwritten cards, but I had already purchased a new package that was still sealed, all the cards blank. (I like to write them in advance so I can leave one in a hurry if I have to). We rushed into the dentist office, checked everybody in, then opened up the thank you cards. I wrote my usual note, then left room for each of my kids to write their own thank you. I sealed the envelope and let Ember be the one to sneak out to the vehicle and carefully place it under a windshield wiper (so it wouldn't fly away).

The kids were thrilled with themselves. We saw the driver of the vehicle later, and it was an elderly woman in her 80's or even 90's. There's a good chance that either she or her husband was a WWII Veteran. That made the gift today a little bit more poignant and meaningful to the kids. The idea of lifting someone's spirit anonymously was thrilling to them.

After we finished our appointments and had pronouncements of no cavities all around, we went out to eat. We like Wendy's, because everything the kids like is 99 cents. While they were eating, we were all talking about our nations Veterans, and we were talking about today's' remembrance of that one event that changed American History. I was asking them to do the math, 1941 to 2011, and figure out what anniversary it was. We talked about their great-grandfathers who had sacrificed and served, and what we can do to honor them now, even though they've passed on. We talked about the importance of knowing and understanding the history of our country, and how we can be good citizens today.

The kids got up to use the bathroom or refill their drinks or something, but I was alone for a minute at the table. An elderly gentleman sitting at the next table leaned over to me and said, "I just wanted to say thank you."

Huh? What?

"Thank you for teaching your children the truth, for teaching them history. You have very thoughtful and intelligent children. You seem like a very patriotic family."

I thanked him profusely, and I was so proud of my kids at that moment. I was proud of myself. I am proud of my country. I have never been given such a high compliment from a stranger before, and it literally brought me to tears several times today remembering it. I really am so proud to be an American, and I am doing my best to make sure my kids are too. I'm trying to teach them honor and respect for those who serve them, and protect them, sometimes at the cost of their lives.

So on this Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, I hope everyone took a moment to appreciate the freedoms we have, the lives that were lost to gain and protect them, and the amazing example that the Greatest Generation has set for us, their posterity.

God Bless the USA.

He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action!

2011-12-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

They restocked the kids sizes!

Matching shirts for Mother and Son of Perry the Platypus.

AKA: Agent P, Secret Agent.

We are now officially Super Cool.

Ember wanted me to tell you, my faithful blog readers, that she took this picture. She's a photographer now!

.

Make that three...

2011-11-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, third post of the day. I just wanted to post a few more Christmas pictures, some of my finished projects, after the room was cleaned up and the kids were gone. I love the little details around the room, things you don't really see when looking at the big picture.

I didn't do a single thing with the tree this year. Last year I was obsessive, every branch had to be shaped just right, and the entire tree had a color scheme. I hardly let the kids touch it, and it wasn't any fun, even though the tree was so beautiful. I decided that this year's tree, done entirely by the kids without my help at all, is just as beautiful. And they had way more fun than they did last year. Priorities.

I'll still be wearing my Grinch shirt and having my grumpy moments, but this picture sure does put me in the Christmas spirit. Maybe my Grinch's small heart will grow three sizes this year.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2011-11-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving was fantastic. We enjoyed dinner with Austin's parents, their kids, spouses, and grandkids and it was a large crowd. Now that it's over, NOW is the time for Christmas decorations and music. Not before. One holiday at a time, thankyouverymuch.

I skipped Black Friday by sleeping in, staying in my pajamas, and watching movies. It was awesome. Saturday my friend Susan took another friend and I out to a movie and lunch for our November birthdays, and we saw the Muppets. I definitely reccomend this movie for kids of all ages, and kids at heart who watched the Muppet show on TV growing up. It was very nostalgic, funny, had some great celebrity appearances, and fun music. I can't wait to see it again with my family.

After my morning out with the girls, I came home to find that my husband had not only put up our Christmas tree and wrapped it with lights, he had also done the dishes and a load of laundry. (Back up ladies, he's MINE. And there's no secret to training him... he seriously just came that way).

I got home just in time to watch and record the kids decorate the tree. Our house looks and sounds like Christmas now (love Christmas playlists on the iPod). It was a good day. Happy Holidays, and let the serious shopping begin!

So sweet, Daddy can still (barely) rock his little girl.

I found this idea on Pinterest... I actually DID it! I'm really excited about how it turned out, but I'm even more excited that I actually accomplished something that I pinned. Yay me!

Gymnastics presentation

2011-11-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

Two posts in a row, back to back, because I didn't have time to do this last week. First I'll post about Ben's gymnastics show, and then I'll post about our Christmas decorating afternoon.

Ben was in level 2 boys gymnastics this year at Desert Devils, and November 19 was their show and awards presentations. Ben did a great job, and we all had fun. Austin even climbed the rope to the ceiling at the end, just to prove he could!

The boys trophies were giving each other high fives. I love boys :)

Here's Ben getting his trophy, and the boys immediately start playing with them like they're action figures.

After one final bow, Ben stabs himself in the stomach.

Then as we were leaving, kids and families were allowed to walk around and use the equipment. The girls had a blast climbing on the bars and jumping on the trampoline, but Austin decided he was going to climb the rope all the way to the top. (What did Mom play with? The camera. That's it). Austin made it, hooray! (He was pretty sore the next day)

Time Out for Women: part 2, plus some other stuff

2011-11-17T16:17:00.002-07:00

I realized today that I never finished reporting on what I learned from Time Out for Women. Then I realized that the following picture represents the mood I've been in ever since. Behold, my Mascot:

Yea, I'm kind of a grinch this time of year. I fully embrace my grinchiness and was THRILLED to find this t-shirt at Walmart. I actually bought two, so if I play my laundry cards right, I could wear this face a couple times a week.

My bad mood is currently being caused by a multitude of things, but especially the names I've been called by the "campaign of civility" after our recent election. My candidate lost, the recall was successful, and the gloaters have called me things that I can't post on this blog, because I have some very nice readers with delicate eyes. They were hateful, which is so ironic because of what they claimed their candidate would bring to Arizona politics. Civility. *cough*bullshit*cough* Sorry, a bad word slipped out, I couldn't help it. Haters bring it out in me, and remember... right now I'm the grinchiest grinch there ever was. There are other causes for it too, things happening with my kids, the school, the doctors, the budget, the holidays, the car repairs, the office, the insomnia, the doctors who are ignoring me and my breathing problems...

My bad mood usually passes sometime after New Years, but I'll try and lift it for a moment while I report on the second day of Time Out for Women. Let's get out of the negativity for a moment and be happy!

The Saturday session had some GREAT speakers, and Hillary Weeks did some great storytelling and sang some silly songs, and spiritual songs.

Mary Ellen Edmunds spoke first about identity theft. Satan wants to steal my identity, he wants to make me forget who I am, and who I'm meant to become. She also said something interesting, she said that where I am today is no surprise to God. My struggles with depression, with faith, with enduring, with giving up... it's no surprise to Him, He expected me to be here. I'm just supposed to move from point A to point B and become who I'm supposed to become, and it's a slow process so don't beat yourself up.

Hillary Weeks talked about an experiment that she tried in her home for two weeks. She read an article in a national news magazine that said the average woman thinks 300 negative thoughts a day, and she wanted to find out if this was true or not. She got herself a "clicker" (that's what she calls it, it just one of those little devices that counts up every time you click it). She told her family what she was doing so they would know what that thing was she was wearing around her wrist, and she started her Monday keeping track of those negative thoughts. She got in the car at 7:30 to take the kids to school and her daughter said, "Mom, it's only 7:30 and you've already had 13 negative thoughts!?" *click* Make that 14. So she covered it with masking tape so no one could see the numbers until the end off the day. Her first day she had about 170 negative thoughts. Gradually throughout the week she noticed the number going up a little bit, but it never got to 300.

Then she noticed that weekend that she was in a really bad mood. She tried to pray, and she couldn't because she was just so angry! She realized that by focusing on negativity all the time, she was becoming a negative person and driving away the spirit.

So she changed the experiment. She decided to keep track of only her positive thoughts. That first Monday she had over 400. By the end of the week, she was sure her kids had been playing with it but they swore they hadn't touched it all day, but at the end of the day Friday the number was over 1000. She had the spirit back, and she was feeling more gratitude and more happiness just because that's where she was putting her focus. That was meaningful to me, because I do give a lot of focus and energy to the negative things in my life. There's positives too, and I think I need to start that same experiment for myself.

You can buy the "clicker" on Hillary Weeks website, they're not much, and it sounds like lots of fun.

I can't remember where these next few quotes came from, there were several good speakers in a row and I didn't attribute them to anyone in my journal.

* I am real. I am God's little girl.

* Remember who my children are.

* I am the perfect Mom for MY kids.

* We can have a bad day but still have a great life.

* Life is a sequence that begins in choices and ends in consequences.

* We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become.

And here's a goal I set for myself, based on something one of the speakers said: I'm going to look in the mirror every day, study my face, and ponder who I am meant to be. Today? In the future? Who am I supposed to become? How am I going to get there? Maybe it's positive affirmations in the mirror every day, like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, but I liked the idea. Stare at myself and remember that I'm a daughter of God, He loves me, and He has plans for me.

My FAVORITE speaker was Kristin Belcher. After the conference was over I went to the bookstore and bought one of her books, which I read in two days, and it was amazing. Her story is available online, but she spoke about finding holy places wherever you are and about understanding that God wants her to become someone specific, and if this is the path she needs to take to become that person, then so be it. Her faith was incredible, and her sense of humor is awesome! She's had cancer twice, at least 10 surgeries starting at the age of 7 months, and is now completely blind. I think I can find a YouTube clip, just a minute, I'll be right back...

Found a couple, YAY! You're gonna LOVE her...

So, Time Out for Women was AWESOME and I was a better person for about two days. In a row. It was epic. Now I'm the grinch again, but I'll work on that.

Now for some random funny family fun.

Ember and I accidentally dressed the same for church on Sunday, all black and white. And yes, that is the PERFECT pencil skirt I was talking about a few weeks ago. Don't we look darling? :)

And today after school Grace asked for her usual snack, a tortilla. She eats it like this every day, she bites out holes for the eyes, nose, and mouth. She's perfected her technique. I know it's past Halloween, but this picture is just a little bit creepy. Maybe she can go as "Tortilla Face" next year for Halloween.

That's all for now. I actually have a couple huge, long stories to tell that I'm not sure I'll put on the blog or not, because they're very grinchy and probably won't do anyone any good by reading about them. And this post is already long enough!!

I talk too much. (or type too much, whatever)

I am the 1%

2011-11-07T14:32:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of talk in the media this year about the 99% and the 1%.

I am the 1%, but I'm not rich and this isn't about taxes.

Those two numbers? We've heard them before. Matthew 18 and Luke 15, in the New Testament. A man has 100 sheep and one gets lost. 99 are just fine, and safe, but one is wandering lost and afraid. Wouldn't that man go in search of the one that is lost? Isn't that one just as important as the other 99?

I think I'm going to form a club; Mormons with Mental Illness. Sometimes we're lost and sometimes we're found. Our testimonies come and go. Darkness envelopes us as often as the light does, maybe more so.

Or maybe I can't speak for everyone with a mental illness, maybe I should only speak for myself. After all, I'm referring to myself as the "one" that is lost.

I don't really fit in. I make public mistakes, I am so outspoken that I hurt people's feelings, I avoid opportunities for service because I'm afraid I'll fail or let someone down, or I just don't have the energy to get out of bed to do them. I can be sacrilegious and hypocritical in public, and then I berate myself in private for not being perfect. Sometimes I'm proud to speak about how my illness has actually strengthened me, but most times I'm ashamed of it, as if it were something I brought on myself through personal choices.

I've had powerful spiritual experiences that have strengthened me, uplifted me, and sustained me through some very dark moments, and years. I've also embraced the fear, anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, and hopelessness that presses in on me every day and I've pulled the covers back over my head and shut out the light because I didn't want it, even though it wanted me.

During all the media coverage over these past months talking about the divide in our country, and the 99% vs. the 1%, I've thought of this parable in the scriptures EVERY time. I can't hear those two numbers together without thinking of the Savior. Knowing myself to be the one that is lost, and sometimes the one that chooses to be lost and stay lost, it's been good for me to have these constant reminders, coming to me in a very unusual way. It's good for me to be reminded that the Savior is always looking for me, waiting for me, preparing to help me even if I come back injured or broken. Even when I don't want Him to find me, He won't stop looking.

Today I feel found, but there's a good chance I'll run away from home again tomorrow. Thank goodness He knows my favorite places to hide.

Time Out for Women: part 1

2011-11-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

I went to Time Out for Women tonight with my Mom and sister Sharon and some of Sharon's in-laws and I really enjoyed myself. This conference for women is sponsored by Deseret Book and it originally started in Phoenix years ago, they've traveled across the country, but they always come back to Phoenix. It's music and motivational speakers that help women take a deep breath, relax, and take a time out. I'll post more about the things I was impressed by or learned about later, but tonight before I go to bed I just wanted to post a link to this song... Macy Robison was the musician who sang for us at the conference tonight, and she sang this song, one of my favorite songs in all of musical theater. Obviously this isn't Macy singing in the video, it's Bernadette Peters, whom I also love. The song is "Children will Listen" from the musical "Into the Woods." The lyrics are so true, and resonate with me every time I hear it. The message fit well into tonight's event, so I thought I'd share the YouTube video so you can hear and love the song too.

Careful the things you say... children will listen.

Guide them then step away... children will glisten.

Happy Freakin' Halloween

2011-10-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

Thriller!

2011-10-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

Several members of Ember's dance group participated in a performance of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" at the Ward Halloween party tonight, after only a few rehearsals. The girls (and a few boys) just added zombie makeup to their existing costumes, so Ember became a zombie Newsie. Interesting... Disney's Newsies as zombies... anyway, she did a great job and she had a blast doing it. We watched Michael Jackson's original video on YouTube last week and it kinda creeped her out, she wouldn't get in the shower because something might be behind the curtain. Then she asked her sister to stand guard outside the curtain while she was getting clean. She loves the song, but she doesn't like real zombie videos so much :) Anyway, enjoy her dance!

Halloween

2011-10-24T19:19:00.001-07:00

The first of several Halloween parties we're going to this year was tonight, the big Lawlor Halloween Bash. It's all of Austin's Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, second cousins, Grandmas and Grandpas... one gigantic family. I snapped a few pictures before I sent the kids off to enjoy the merriment without me (the first one I've missed in years, but I feel icky). The kids look fabulous!

Fairy Princess - Grace

Harry Potter - Ben

Newsie - Ember

I also had Halloween costumes for the dogs that I bought on clearance last year. They hated wearing them, but it was just too funny to skip the torture they went through. Elphie (the Boston Terrier) picks on Lady (the Chihuahua) CONSTANTLY. So this year, Lady got to be the boss and put Elphie in her place! Jail! (Unfortunately we didn't get to pose them side by side for a picture, dogs are terrible models).

Austin and I didn't dress up this year, we had all our fun vicariously through the kids and dogs. The next party is Saturday, the church carnival, and then on to Monday's night of trick-or-treating!

Which leads me to this: I watched an interesting debate / conversation happen on Facebook this week about the necessity of this holiday. It lasts two hours. It's expensive, and doesn't mean anything. It hops your kids up on sugar for weeks, causing tantrums and chaos in it's wake. It obligates you to buy treats for other peoples kids, most of whom you don't even know. Is it a bad thing to skip it, or boycott it even? Would that make someone a terrible parent, if they refused to buy costumes and pass out candy?

I for one am letting my kids dress up and go to the parties, without me, and trick-or-treat on Monday. I don't decorate my house or make a big deal out of anything, but I usually buy candy and sit on the front porch to pass it out so my doorbell doesn't give my dogs a heart attack every 30 seconds. This year I'm sending the kids out with dad to collect their diabetes in a bucket, and I'm turning off the lights and watching movies in my bedroom. I'm not being a scrooge, that title is reserved for Christmas only, thankyouverymuch. I just think it's ok to scale this one back sometimes.

Dad time - Grace has a razor!

2011-10-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Grace got to have some "Dad time" this weekend while I was out of town, and Austin showed me these videos when I got back. So awesome.

I have a very brave husband.

Grace-isms

2011-10-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

I just published my post a few minutes ago, and THEN Grace says something else so funny I had to run to the bathroom. We were watching YouTube videos of Chuck Norris, trying to show the kids the infamous roundhouse kick, and there was an explosion with a mushroom cloud.

Grace asks, "is that a fart?"

Mom-time

2011-10-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

One of the rewards the kids can spend their chore chart points on is one-on-one time with Mom or Dad. They have hours of undivided attention, and the kids get to pick the activities and entertainment. That child takes priority over everything but an emergency, and Grace is the one child that has redeemed her points for this reward more than once. She loves it, she loves feeling like the most important person in the world, and she loves calling the shots. Grace spent her points on Mom-time today, and although I started the day with a headache and feeling down, I really enjoyed my time spent with Grace-face.

That's a sticker on my arm, she COVERED me in stickers.

Our agenda:
Color pictures
Yoga (her idea, and I sucked at it)
Play barbies / ponies
Read stories
Play dominoes (chain reactions and artwork)
Play outside (trampoline, tire swing)
Sang songs & karate chopped throats
Went out for an ice cream cone

Grace "drew" pictures using dominoes. This turned out great!

Don't you love our matching hairstyles?

See? She was punching me!

And look at the difference in our skin color... she takes after her Dad :)

Hi-yah!

I had a blast today Gracie, let's do it again sometime!

2011-09-26T21:17:00.002-07:00

Love this post, it is so sweet and sad at the same time.

Kinda describes all of August & September for me.

Thanks!

2011-09-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

I never wanted to be a political activist, I'm too sensitive. My feelings get hurt, I take things personally, and politics is a dirty game. People can be mean and hateful, and I try and avoid that at all costs. It's also healthier for someone who is bi-polar to avoid situations that trigger anger and resentment, which politics is also full of!

I had no idea what the effect would be of my post, but it was larger than I anticipated. I'm grateful for everyone's support, from friends, family, and even strangers. My blog was quoted in a post on the examiner.com, which is so cool to me, so I'll post a link here if you want to read it.

Thanks guys, even to the ones who disagreed without being disagreeable!

Warning: long political post.

2011-09-23T09:16:00.001-07:00

I feel like I need to make some sort of public statement about some local politics that are affecting me, and now affecting my kids. This is directed at my neighborhood, my church, and my family.

I'm in Legislative District 18 in Mesa, Arizona. My Senator, Russell Pearce, has been recalled and is running to keep his seat in a November election. His opponent, Jerry Lewis, was my Stake President and is one of my Dad's best friends. I call him a friend as well, he's been a great support to me in so many ways over the years. He's an honest, hardworking, faithful, optimistic man, and I'm sure he'd work hard and do his best. But he's not getting my vote.

I have a Russell Pearce sign in my front yard. This has prompted comments on facebook, text messages, instant messages, emails, dirty looks, phone calls, etc., from other ward and stake members. I was going to give the short answer, stand up for myself in a quiet and dignified way, but yesterday was the last straw.

Ember told me that some kids, either in the neighborhood or at school, have been asking her why our family doesn't like Jerry Lewis, why don't we have HIS sign in our yard like everyone else? She felt ashamed, and had to ask me about it.

My response? NEVER be ashamed of who you are and what you believe. This election isn't about her, she can't vote, and she doesn't understand the recall or the politics. I just used it as an opportunity to tell her that people disagree, but always stand up for what you believe in. Don't let peer pressure make you change your mind, your behavior, or your beliefs. I went to bed so angry last night because my daughter is being attacked because of a sign in my front yard, and I had to teach her to disagree civilly and respectfully when I felt like doing the opposite.

So I love Jerry, but here's why I'm voting for Pearce. I believe this recall is wrong. He's worked hard, he's authored or supported legislation that I believe in, he earned that seat through a legal and fair election, and he deserves to keep it. The people who walked the city with petitions asking for signatures to get him recalled were misrepresenting themselves, one of them told me that this was for a regular election and if I signed the petition, that just gets Pearce's name on the ballot. That sounds fair, and I only came to understand later that it was underhanded, misleading, dishonest, and it makes me wonder how many signatures they got that way that they wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Here's some of his voting record, to show you that I have done my research and I agree with his politics.

Abortion issues:
He voted to prohibit abortion based on race or gender, to prohibit non-physicians from performing abortions, to prohibit late term or partial birth abortions, to increase penalties for doctors who do perform late term or partial birth abortions, to take away public funding for abortions, and to require notorized parental consent for underage abortions.

Education:
voted for HB2557, requiring students to comply to academic standards in order to participate in physical or fine arts education, and for schools to keep their funding for those programs. Specific schools within the district can vote on these programs on a case by case basis, but in general he is supportive. I agree with this 100%.

Budget:
There are so many bills he voted on here, I can't highlight them all, but he voted for mandatory drug testing on those applying for state assistance programs. He voted down tax increases for Arizonans. He voted not to raise Arizona's debt ceiling, to keep the current debt limits, and to require the legislature to aquire funds to pay back interest on loans from somewhere besides the state general fund. He voted to reduce corporate, income, and property taxes, including taxes on small businesses. He voted down a temporary sales tax increase (because we all know, those are NEVER temporary).

Miscellaneous:
Voted no on a bill that would allow registered handguns in restaurants that serve alcohol. Voted to increase penalties for people boating under the influence of alcohol. He voted no on repealing legislative term limits. (Even he knows he can't work there forever, and he shouldn't). He voted to repeal state funding for campaigns. He voted to keep the current definition of marriage. Voted to reduce the burden of proof on self-defense use of force cases in law enforcement, in other words, Officer Involved Shootings. (he's very supportive of law enforcement, which means so much to me personally). Voted to end affirmative action. He's voted lots of times regarding gun owners rights, and I'm a believer in the 2nd amendment.

IMMIGRATION:
SB1070... allows the State law enforcement agencies to be able to enforce existing Federal Laws, that the federal government refuses to enforce themselves. I've read the bill... it's fair, it's not racial profiling, it mimics the federal law word for word and they cite specific examples throughout the bill so you can check for yourself. I read the whole thing, so I could be informed. We need to be able to protect ourselves, Arizona is becoming more violent. I am not a racist person, but I do believe in the law. If you're here illegally, you're a criminal, period. Come here fairly, pay your taxes, enjoy our benefits and freedoms the right way, and if you don't? Hopefully SB1070 will help our officers take care of you.
Increased employer sanctions for hiring undocumented workers. Voted to have English be the official language. Voted to require documentation of citizenship for benefits. Increase border security. Deport violent criminals... it goes on and on. This one issue is very personal to him, his son was shot in the line of duty while trying to serve a homicide warrant by an illegal alien.

Pearce was a law enforcement officer for 23 years, was shot in the line of duty, and received the medal of valor. He has a history of fighting for citizens rights, being tough regarding law enforcement, being tough on budget issues (yes, he had to cut funding on some things that were unpopular, like 1.5% from education, but he also believes strongly in a balanced budget).

I admire him, I respect him, I think he's doing a great job, and the recall is WRONG.

So for all you naysayers, finger pointers, and those who wouldn't sit next to me at church, THAT'S why I'm supporting Senator Pearce, so he can keep his job. I am NOT voting against my friend, he has nothing to do with my decision.

Now quit hurting and teasing my daughter and accusing her, and our family, of not liking Jerry Lewis anymore, because that isn't true.

(This post is approved by Austin & Jill Lawlor)

p.s. Thank you sooo much to my neighbors who put a Pearce sign in their yard, so we wouldn't have to be the only ones in the neighborhood.

p.p.s. This is a 9/24/11/update to the original post: No one at church has actually gotten out of their seat and moved away because I sat down. I do get the sense that I'm being avoided, but I used that description to describe the vibe and the atmosphere around the church AND the neighborhood. I will not point fingers or be any more specific than that, I'm trying to keep things civil for the sake of my kids.

Grace-isms

2011-09-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

So Grace-isms are hilarious when she's two, three, four, five, in Kindergarten... but they kinda stop being funny when she's in first grade, all day school, and I have my first parent teacher conference.

It's not a good sign when the teacher has to take a deep breath and sigh before she starts talking to you about your child.

Grace rocks in her chair and falls out.
Grace sits on the floor (to avoid falling out of her chair, and it's more comfy down there)
Grace draws on herself.
Grace sucks on her arms and hands, making loud slurping sounds and giving herself hickies and rashes.
Grace pokes her neighbors with sharpened pencils.
Grace sings and hums... constantly. During tests, study time, lesson time, the girl is making up music. She seriously can't stop. Remember "Grace: the Musical"? mmmm hmmm.
Grace doesn't pay attention when the teacher is speaking.
Grace doesn't complete assignments correctly or on time.

Monday, Grace LICKED her desk. (This is one week after I saw Contagion... I FREAKED out.)

Basically her teacher is a tad bit concerned. She loves her, thinks she's a sweet girl, she's just making teaching her a little bit difficult. She's very supportive of however we want to handle her behavior, however we choose to discipline her, however we choose to evaluate and treat her, I felt zero pressure or bullying from the teacher to do something I didn't want to do. That was refreshing. But we do have to do something, there are red flags all over the place. I want my child to love learning, to love school, and to not feel like she's in trouble all the time.

So... here we go again.

May my child be herself, do good in school, and may the Grace-isms never end.

Knock me down, I don't care

2011-09-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

I heard a line in a movie this week that I loved...

Blogs are just graffiti with punctuation.

Awesome!

So let me add a little graffiti with the words of a song:
(and punctuation)

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear.
Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down
Baby I don't care.
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me.
('Loser Like Me', from 'Glee'... a guilty pleasure)

I've been feeling like a loser a lot lately, picked on judged and criticized everywhere I go. I've been knocked down over and over (and over!) again, and I haven't gotten up yet this time, but I probably will. Mostly I try to keep the attitude that I don't care, you're losers too, but the truth is that I DO care. Probably a little too much. I care when my co-workers "hate on me" (you all suck by the way), and I care when my family, (extended, husband, kids) criticize me. I do care if you start your sentence with "no offense, but..."
Yea, I'm gonna take offense.

I should lighten up and let things go, I'm aware of that, but people in general should just try and be a little kinder! You never know when you criticize a co-worker and complain to the boss, that she isn't going through some serious problems at home, and struggling with her physical and mental health, and a meeting with her supervisor isn't going to set off a brand new tailspin that she was just starting to climb out of!!! And if we're going to get nit picky here, let's compare productivity statistics for the last 5 years... me vs. you. Scared? You should be. Hate on me, but you wish you were as good a loser as I am.

*deep breathing*

I had a bad day. I needed to spray a little graffiti and get it off my chest.

Just be nice, ok?

My Turn on Earth

2011-09-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the final performance of "My Turn on Earth" and Ember was invited to participate. It's a play about who we are, where we come from, and where we're going, told through the eyes of children. We missed the first two performances because of summer vacations and schedules, and I am so grateful that Ember was able to dance in this final show. My nephew Michael was also in the play, and he did a great job.

Ember danced to a song called "Heaven", and it's a group of spirits in the pre-existence enjoying their Heavenly Home. This is before the plan of salvation was presented. Ember was chosen to be in the group that liked Satan's plan better, which really bothered her at first, but she ended up with a really positive attitude about it. It's an important part of the story, and the fact that she's here dancing in this show reminds her that she was actually in that group of spirits that chose to follow the Savior. She was only playing a part, with a body that is a gift from God. I am so proud of her talent, her attitude, and her testimony.

I got a decent video of her dancing, although she's blocked by Junior for awhile in the middle of the song. The picture below that is of her standing with Satan's group... she looks proud, powerful. I think it's an awesome pose, she looks gorgeous.

I have one more video of the final dance, but it's so hard to see Ember in it, it's the entire cast. I decided to leave it out for now, but I may add it later, who knows.

Good job to everybody who participated, you guys did awesome and I'm so glad I was able to see this show!

Kiss Kiss!

2011-09-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

Grace likes to learn words in spanish (after her Dora phase, that kinda stuck), and I think it's pretty cool. She was going to give me a hug and kiss at bedtime and as she walked over to me, we had this conversation:

Austin: Grace, you have to kiss Mom in Spanish.
Grace: *thinking* *confusion* *disgust*
Grace: Is that where the tongues have to touch?!?
Ben: (from the other room) No, that's French!
Mom: (laughing) Where did you learn THAT??
Ben: Henry told me!

Super.

And I Googled kiss in spanish, it's beso / besar / besarse.

School Picture Day

2011-09-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

Today was school picture day. My friend Janalynn came over and braided my girls hair in cute headband braids, we managed to gel Ben's hair into place despite his desperate need for a haircut, and they all looked cute.

Then I got THESE smiles before school. Grace especially would not smile normally, she thinks it would be great to be goofy in her pictures. And Ember refuses to show her teeth, she thinks her smile looks better that way. They're adorable no matter what, but we'll see how they turn out!

(click the pictures to enlarge them)

Politics is served

2011-09-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the Republican Debate. The TV was on in the other room, we weren't watching it, but I overheard something that I mentioned to Austin while having family dinner. That prompted some questions from the kids about the debate, the election, and politics in general. They understand that the incumbent gets another shot at four more years, but they were curious about this crowd of people who wanted to run against him. I think they understand that only one of these guys gets to try and beat Obama, and they're all fighting to be THAT GUY (or girl). They're all saying different things to try to get the most votes, to make the most people happy. My kids are 11, 9, and 6. We were having family dinner. Here's how I explained politics to them.

I'm the president. (I'm off to a good start, right?)
I'm in charge, and I have to make everyone happy.
The dinner table is America.
The food I've prepared is what I have to offer America.
The shortlings surrounding the table are Americans.
One American doesn't like my casserole.
One American doesn't like the green beans.
One American won't eat the bread.
On a side note, my Vice President will eat pretty much anything.
I worked hard on this meal/plan for our table!
I'm proud of it, and my goal was to make EVERYONE happy! But that's a near impossible task, we're all too different.

My little Americans understood that it's a really hard job to fill the table with things that everybody likes, and can agree on. They liked the idea of being able to help pick the food, even help prepare and serve it. The politicians make the decisions and offer things to the people, but the people get to have a say too. I think they got the concept, maybe even six year old Grace. Not about politicians, but about how she's the little American that didn't like the casserole.

The only part of my story that doesn't work is that my little Americans do NOT get to vote me out in four years, even if I keep making them eat their vegetables!

2011-09-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

Instead of posting a fake pregnancy and cravings on facebook, why don't you tell all of your friends to donate money to breast cancer research, or contribute to the medical care of a friend or family member undergoing treatment right now? Doesn't that seem more effective and less offensive?

Facebook games are so unbelievably stupid, but this one especially pissed me off.

Vacation part 4

2011-08-16T09:05:00.001-07:00

The last part of our week long vacation was spent in Prescott with Austin's brother and their family. The cousins had so much fun together, we are so glad they moved back from Missouri! It seems like the only time I pulled out the camera was when they were being lazy though... I swear they chased lizards in the backyard and played with legos and dolls, they didn't just watch TV.

Our Lawlor cousins also have a new kitten named Mr. Meowski. Actually, it's Mr. Vader Meowski, to appease the boys. My kids were enamored and wouldn't leave that poor little thing alone. They did however help to build it a gigantic playhouse out of cardboard boxes, and the kitten loved it. It was an awesome visit, I was so glad to end our trip with family in Northern Arizona!

Back to the heat, back to school... *sigh*

Vacation part 3

2011-08-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

This post is easy. We were exhausted after Sea World and going to bed after midnight, so we slept in the next morning and then spent a couple hours at the pool. The horrible part is... we got sunburned!! Not at the beach, not at a theme park all day, at the freakin' swimming pool for less than 2 hours. Maybe it's the chlorine, it washes away the sunblock quicker than ocean water or sweat. At least the burns were minor, but I was on a roll so I was a little irritated. We did have a blast though! A giant hole in the ground filled with water can provide awesome family fun for hours, who thought of that first? I need to google who invented the swimming pool...

First Day of School

2011-08-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have more vacation stuff to post, but I thought I'd interrupt it with the first day of school pictures. Ember is in 6th grade, Ben in 4th, and Grace in 1st. This is the first year all of my kids will be in school all day. I have been looking forward to having time to myself during the day for 11 years, and then my boss informs me a couple weeks ago that they're changing our hours of operation and I'm going to have to switch to the day shift. No more time to myself, I have to work all day for Mesa PD and work all night for my family. I guess I wasn't meant to get a break. And today was bittersweet because I was rushed all morning, trying to do everything myself because my husband disappeared. I didn't even get to walk with the kids to the bus stop to say goodbye and good luck, and we forgot morning prayers. They barely even finished the breakfast I cooked all morning for them. I forgot to remind Ben what classroom number he's in because he forgot, I forgot to put their information sheets in their folders, I'm grateful to Ember for helping me make sandwiches so they at least had lunch today. I feel like the morning went ok for them, but awful for me. I just laid in my bed and cried because things weren't perfect, I'm lonely, and I'm discouraged. Good first day of school attitude, right? I'm grateful my kids go to a good school and have great teachers, and I'm grateful they're excited. I'll work on my attitude later.

My kids wanna be on YouTube

2011-08-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

Here's our first staged family YouTube video. Ben is DYING to see how many hits we get. So much drama in this house, it's hard to contain it. Feel free to share this with your friends, if we get even 10 hits it will make Ben's day! Thanks in advance! :)

Vacation part 2

2011-08-07T12:23:00.001-07:00

After visiting Grandma on Tuesday and the beach on Wednesday, we decided to do a theme park on Thursday. My parents also decided that it was time to go visit their other grandkids in Arizona, so we basically swapped houses for a few days. They got the 110 degree weather for 3 days, and we got 78. Fair trade I say :) It was also the perfect weather for a day at Sea World. Because my parents live in Orange County and Sea World is in San Diego, we had to get up a little early so we could make the hour and a half drive to get there, but it was WORTH IT. Our kids had never been there before and I've been twice, I've always wanted to take them. It was a breezy, sunny 77 degrees the day we went, and still... no sunburns. Except the back of Austin's neck, but I guess he's just not that good at putting sunblock on himself. I, however, am an expert sunblock applier. It's a gift.

Sorry about the picture overload, but it's Sea World. Every animal is cute and amazing.

The first show we saw was "Blue Horizons", which is the dolphin show. I wish I'd thought to take videos instead of pictures, but that didn't occur to me until later. Oh well. The kids weren't fans of sitting in the bleachers waiting, but once they saw the show they figured out that it was worth it. It's like waiting in line at any other theme park, only you get to sit down. Who wouldn't love that?

We also got to feed the Sea Lions, (by throwing them dead fish... ew) who were loud, obnoxious, and greedy. We loved it. One Sea Lion even stole a fish right out of another Sea Lions mouth, the selfish little turd. The one on the rock in the center was so loud we had to cover our ears, he could be heard around the park.

This Sea lion was a lot louder before I pulled out the camera, then he just started moaning. Until someone threw him a fish, then he started begging again.

The Sea Lion show was really funny, they were making fun of shows on TV. They did CSI, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, and a couple others. It's amazing what you can train these animals to do!

Sea World isn't all shows, there are a few rides. Grace liked all but one, which was the roller coaster. She was more than tall enough, just not quite brave enough. She blamed me for scaring her to death the rest of the day. So I guess we can cross Six Flags off our list for next year.

Half the rides are designed to get you wet, which felt really nice. River rapids (where Ben and I got soaked), and Atlantis, which is like Splash Mountain at Disneyland, got us nice and wet. Atlantis actually had a spot on the bridge where you could stand and get splashed by the ride every time it went by. Ben and Ember stood there for a bit to get good and wet before we got in line ourselves. I also had the foresight to bring a big ziploc bag to put the camera and cell phones in for each ride. No electronics got damaged :)

My favorite show was probably "One World", which is the Shamu show. It's amazing that a killer whale can throw it's entire weight out of the water and into the air like that. Also, not only are the rides designed to get you wet, but so are the shows. There's a section of the bleachers called the 'splash zone' where if you decide to sit there, you WILL get wet. We never actually got to do that, you have to get there early, but check out that picture of Shamu using his tail to soak the audience... maybe it's a good thing we missed that experience.

For theme parks we always make the kids wear tennis shoes, but we didn't realize what bad shape Ben's shoes were in. He'd been trying to tell us all summer, but we forced him to wear them to Sea World anyway. His feet were killing him because Elphie had chewed on his shoes, so he had to walk funny just to keep them on. We had made a previous decision not to buy any souvenirs, but I made an exception for Ben and bought him a new pair of flip flops. We made a little ceremony out of throwing away those terrible shoes. His feet felt fantastic the rest of the day :)

The shark encounter is really cool, you actually walk through a tunnel underground that is under the shark aquarium, so they swim over your head and all around the sides of you. Ben wanted a stuffed shark from the gift shop when we were done, but he settled for a picture of the shark eating his face instead.

Sea World's new attraction this year is Turtle Reef, and I just love Sea Turtles. Who doesn't love Crush and Squirt from Finding Nemo? And of course, at the end of every attraction they have the gift shop. Marketing genius, parents nightmare. Ember loved the little stuffed turtle, and also had to settle for her picture taken with it. And as long as we were taking pictures with merchandise and not buying it, she put on the shark headband to model also.

The Arctic Circle was fun to visit, to see the penguins and Polar Bears. It was freezing inside, the kids couldn't wait to get back out into the sun. The setup was a shipwreck frozen in the ice, modeled after a real ship that got lost there in the 1800's. They also had a helicopter simulator ride, taking a tour of the Arctic shelf. Austin's thick Alaska-homesick blood felt right at home, but the rest of us desert rats couldn't wait to get back into the heat.

We also got to see a Beluga Whale, which was pretty cool. There was a mother and baby and the baby whale attached it's nose to the mother and followed her wherever she swam, it was adorable. The babies aren't white, they're grey, they turn white when they mature. These whales also can't do the tricks that the dolphins and killer whales can do, they are too top heavy and can't throw themselves out of the water.

The day ended with fireworks, and then a long drive home back to Orange County. We didn't get home until just after midnight, and it was easy to drop the kids into bed without a fight. We had a blast, and would love to go to Sea World again someday. And don't worry, there's more vacation pictures to come!

Vacation part 1

2011-08-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

July 25 we packed up our family and headed out to California for a week. Cooler weather, the ocean, family, theme parks, what's not to love? We got in late Monday and just went straight to sleep. After a day of cleaning, packing, and driving, falling into an air mattress on a tile floor felt pretty darn good.

Tuesday we went to visit Great-Grandma Meacham, who will be 92 in September. It's such a blessing that we still have her with us, so whenever we make it to California a visit to Great-Grandma is a priority. She is recovering well from breaking her leg in April and having a stroke in July, she was very cheerful and telling us stories about her childhood. I would have liked our visit to last longer but she had to leave for a doctor appointment.

Wednesday, after shamelessly sleeping in until almost lunch time, we took the kids to the beach. We accidentally drove past Balboa beach, which was our destination, drove past Newport beach, and ended up on a secluded quiet beach in front of some very expensive oceanview condos. There was only one other couple on the beach with us, and some junior lifeguards who were there because the sand shelf dropped off pretty steep and the waves were incredible. It turned out to be the perfect spot, and the perfect day.

Ember started out just wanting to walk around and pick up seashells, but she eventually got in the water. The waves in some places were taller than Austin, so she was a little cautious at first, but she dived right in. She even got knocked down and dragged out a few times, but Austin was always there to save her. Made me nervous.

Ben is a digger, his favorite thing is to make deep holes in the sand, build sand castles, and bury himself. Even he put down the shovel for a few minutes to get into the water, the waves were too good to pass up.

Grace also tried her hand at sandcastle building, but without success. Her favorite part of the waves was getting just close enough to let the water brush her toes or fingers, and then running away. Austin held her hand and took her out into the water a few times, but that wasn't her favorite part. She looks like she's commanding the waves in these pictures, or else conducting some great oceanic symphony!

Austin LOVED the waves, he did a lot of body surfing and got knocked down several times.

Me? I stayed on the blanket, took pictures, and read a book. I'm always behind the camera, so 20 years from now you may never even know I was there! AND... not a single one of us got a sunburn. Scroll back to the top, to our red-headed great-grandma, and marvel that the skin we inherited from her side of the family stayed nice and white after more than two hours at the beach. That is expert sunblock application, after years of experience. :)

There's more to come, but I didn't want there to be picture overload on my first post. That's why it's titled "Vacation part 1". Coming soon, Theme parks, swimming pools, and cousins! (Plus there was a vacation earlier this month where just the kids went with Grandma & Grandpa Lawlor and Aunt Celeste to the cabin and Austin and I stayed home and had a stay-cation. So peaceful... *sigh*... but I'll add some pictures from that trip as well, as soon as I get them).

And after all this talk of summer fun, let me remind you, SCHOOL STARTS IN 5 DAYS!!!

Just for fun :)

2011-08-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

This is my new ring tone. I smile no matter who's calling!

More July

2011-08-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

July was a busy month! We had birthdays, swim lessons, vacations, and back to school preparations. I'll have to do the vacation posts later, because it was a long trip and it's going to take awhile to organize all the photos.

Swim lessons were great this year, Ben finally gained the confidence that he was lacking and always worried me. He's a swim star now, and can do almost anything. Just not the butterfly stroke, which I never could do either, so who cares. Grace also became a stronger swimmer, and I'm so glad... I wouldn't ever let her go swim at a friends house because I didn't trust her abilities. Now she can freestyle in deeper water and it's a big sigh of relief. That girl just didn't want to work at it, she'd rather splash in the shallow end! Silly girl.

Even though we had a huge birthday party for Ben back in June, his actual birthday was July 19. We celebrated by going to see Harry Potter 7.2 on Monday the 18th, just Mom & Ben. The movie was amazing, and we both clapped and cheered at the end! This picture is in a dark theater and looks terrible, but it shows how happy we are and how much fun we're having!

Then on Sunday we had cake at Grandma and Grandpa Lawlor's house with some extended family. There were no candles in the house, so Ben got to be the first one in our family ever to have toothpicks as candles. They actually worked pretty well, but they DO need diligent adult supervision :)

The next day, Monday, we left for our week long vacation in California and Prescott. We packed a lot of activities into those seven days and it'll take me awhile to blog about it all. See what I mean about July being such a busy month? Thankfully it's August now, and school starts next week! Yay!

Child abuse on TV

2011-07-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

She is SIX years old. In a bikini, spray tanned, wearing heavy makeup.

I watched a few episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC tonight, and it was like a train wreck... I really couldn't look away. I was watching child abuse happen on TV. These Mom's are ruining these girls forever, their self-esteem will forever be wrapped up in whether or not someone else approves of them, votes for them, gives them a prize. What kind of mother tells her screaming daughter who doesn't want to put on her full glitz dress, "Do you want to look like Barbie or not?!"

Here's some actual quotes I heard tonight that made me so angry:

*child's whisper* "Mom, I don't like you."
Mom's response to the camera: "She just loves pageants, we're here for her."
"It's time to bleach your teeth, get back here!"
"You need a spray tan, you look sick and I can see your freckles."
"Baby, you need to put on your eyelashes, please!" (to a 2 year old)
"If I don't win a crown, I'm going to feel really really really bad about myself."
"The pretty kids are the popular ones."
"I'm not embarassed when she hits and screams, it's kind of cute."
*screaming* "Do you want to win this or not??"
"Don't cry, now we have to redo your makeup!"
"Just take the pain, baby girl."

Does an 18 month old baby need a spray tan?

Do 5 year olds need hair extensions?

Is a bikini/swimsuit competition appropriate?

They wear more makeup in one day than I wear in a month!

I am appalled, and so sad. These girls are being trained to be judged, and the prettiest and most talented always wins. They will seek someone else's approval their whole lives, and as a result will be at risk of being abused or suffer from depression. I may not be the best Mom in the world, but watching these pageant Mom's for even five minutes makes me feel a whole lot better about my parenting style.

My girls like to dress up, and they like a cute outfit or pretty necklace like any little girl, but hopefully I'm teaching them that true beauty is on the inside. They do get to dress up for ballet recitals, but the costumes are modest and their hair is just in a bun. I'm proud of their athleticism and grace and discipline in learning to dance, but they know that even with that, their value doesn't lie in ballet. My girls are learning to love, learning to serve, learning to forgive, learning to develop their talents and their intelligence, and they are so beautiful to me.

Cool quote #2, on my continuing quest for kindness...

2011-07-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

~Stephen Grellet, 1773-1855
French-born Quaker Minister

Cool quote

2011-07-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
- Kahlil Gibran

Maybe someday I'll have massive character, or feel strong.

Ember keeps growing!

2011-07-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today is Ember's 11th birthday, and I can't believe how this girl has grown! Her pediatrician called her a pre-teen today. *faint* Unfortunately, Ember got some vaccinations on her birthday, but she handled it like a pro. See how tough she is?

That's an attempt at a tough face, though she does look a little weepy. She may be 11, but she still wanted an ice cream cone for enduring the shots.

We didn't get to do anything extra special today because of swim lessons and doctor appointments and grocery shopping, but she still had a pretty fun day. We opened presents after dinner, and before the rest of the family came over for cake and ice cream.

(Lady makes a good pillow... squishy and tolerant)

Ben and Grace got her her favorite toys, Littlest Pet Shops. Grandma and Grandpa Meacham got her her first HOOP earrings! Oh my gosh, so grown up!

They also got her the next two books in a series she's been reading, the Dork Diaries. They're about a girl in Junior High. That's my little girl in just one more year...

Austin and I pondered for weeks on what to get her, because she's just not little anymore. Here's what we decided:

You just can't go wrong with cash. Besides, the gift is the time spent shopping with Mom at the mall.

Adria came over again for more cake, and Ember loves to play with her and take care of her while she's here. We have three summer birthdays, and Adria's come over for cake twice now. In just a couple weeks we'll have her over one more time for Ben's birthday! I love watching her eat cake, it's adorable. Eric and Noelle brought Valette also, but she's too young for cake :)

We know she's not two years old, there were only two blue candles, which is Ember's favorite color, so that's an "11", not 2. She blew out the candles on her first try, go figure. It was a really fun day and I'm so proud of my beautiful, talented, intelligent, sweet girl who is growing into such a lovely young lady.

Love you baby girl.

The Best 4th of July EVER!

2011-07-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty amazing Independence Day weekend, according to our kids it was the "BEST FOURTH OF JULY EVER!!" (all caps because of the shouting).

It started with the City of Mesa fireworks show on Saturday night. The show started at 9:30, I got off work at 9:30, and I work for Mesa PD, and the headquarters building is located right in downtown. My family just met me at work and I let them into the parking garage where we parked on the roof for an awesome view of the show. My sister and her family came which added awesomeness.

Monday we started early with a parade at 9:00 AM at the church. All the kids from church decorated their bikes and scooters, or decorated themselves and just walked, and marched around the parking lot. It was pretty much adorable. Then the church provided a yummy breakfast. I had to grab two kids and leave a tad early for swimming lessons, which was also awesome. Riding bikes in a parking lot in July in Arizona, followed by a dip in the pool? Amazing!

Then Mom got a nap. Always part of a best day ever.

Followed by a trip to Superstition Springs Mall! We ate lunch in the food court, let Grace jump around in the play area, introduced Ember to the Tinkerbell store (lots of pre-teen ooh's and aah's at all the sparklies), played on the turtle statue, and had all kinds of fun.

Then.... our first 3D movie ever! It's awesome that the cheap theater also shows 3D movies so we can afford to take the kids, it's only $4 a person. We saw Rio, and it was hillarious! Lots of laugh out loud moments, I love to hear my kids giggle. And the 3D stuff was pretty much awesome, all I'd ever seen before was Captain Eo at Disneyland.

From there we went to Walmart to get all the fixin's for a backyard BBQ, and to purchase some explosives. The last time I handled a firework was on the farm in Idaho when I was 6 or 7, holding a sparkler. Good times, good times.

We went to Casey and Celeste's for dinner, since they have a grill that works and has propane. Plus their yard is across the street from the Mesa Country Club, which had a fireworks show at 9:00 and can be seen from the back yard. Sweet.

Austin is a master griller. Wait, that's not true, I can't lie. Ask any one of our kids... the hamburgers were kinda crispy. Grace had the right idea going with barbecued chicken, he mostly got that right. The strawberries were yummy though, and patriotic!

After dinner was the hard part... waiting for dark. It took FOREVER! (About an hour and a half, but Ben says that's a lie). We watched cartoons until it was time to start blowing stuff up. Austin got to play with the big stuff in the street, and the kids looked on while playing with sparklers. It's difficult to take pictures of kids at night, in the dark, no flash, with sparklers in the foreground. I'm NOT a photographer, and the blurry effect is cool anyway, so my pictures are pretty much amazing. Adria liked the first sparkler she held, but she accidentally grabbed the top of it after it had gone out and burned her fingers a little bit. The second sparkler we tried to give her was a little scary, I feel bad that I don't have pictures of the first one. She really did have fun! Our kids sure do love making their sweet little cousin laugh and smile.

We had cupcakes with patriotic sprinkles while we watched the big show from the back yard, then cleaned up our mess, and came home. We even had a little time throughout the day to talk about what Independence Day means, why we celebrate it, and Ember and Ben even knew what the fireworks represented! I want to raise patriotic kids who are proud to be Americans, and appreciate all of the sacrifices that others have made so that they can enjoy the privileges they have. According to some recent conversations, we're doing a pretty good job of that so far.

Our exhausted kiddos tumbled into bed at 10:00 PM saying it was the best 4th of July ever. I agree.

I need some Grace

2011-07-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

You're the worst Mom ever!
You're the baddest Mom in the world!
I wish you would die!
I wish someone else was my Mom!

Why all the drama? I wouldn't let her sleep in my bed.

What names is she going to call me when I won't give her the car keys, or take away her cell phone?

Six is the new sixteen.

Facebook

2011-07-01T17:01:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a really long break from Facebook. I've been considering this for awhile, but recent events have strengthened my resolve to actually do it.

Some of the topics that have come up in therapy for me recently have stemmed from issues relating to Facebook. Apparently the social rules that we have for face to face polite society don't apply to social networking.

I have a theory that it's something like road rage. You are in your comfort zone, your own space, (such as the privacy of your car with road rage, or your home with your laptop) and someone does something that offends you. You are protected by distance, anonymity, lack of immediate consequences (such as a punch in the face). Overreactions run rampant, anger is quick and fierce, and people say things to friends, family, and perfect strangers on Facebook that they would NEVER say in person. Anonymity makes people bold, and mean! Does this happen to anyone else? (I personally only post things on Facebook that I'm perfectly willing to say to someone's face, I don't have an online split personality).

When did it become ok to insult the friend of a friend because you don't like a comment they made? When did it become appropriate to make someone's Facebook wall your own personal pulpit from which to spew sermons, lectures, and criticisms? Let's say you overhear a comment you disagree with in line at the grocery store, do you immediately criticize and even insult the people involved, even though they're perfect strangers and weren't even talking to you? And how do you think they'd react in person? Why are we surprised that people overreact online as well? I've had comments so long and so preachy, they were a full sacrament meeting talk! There's a time and a place people, and my Facebook wall isn't it.

Facebook is supposed to be fun. Share pictures, jokes, funny things about our kids, jobs, lives. Vent frustrations, be sarcastic, observe life, get feedback, but don't take it too seriously. I've unfriended too many people that take Facebook way too seriously and crossed the line to inappropriate. My status updates are not an invitation for you to insult me, or each other. If you don't like my sense of humor, unfriend me. Block me. I really don't care, because I don't take Facebook that seriously.

Ok, this sounds a little angry and frustrated, but that's how I've been feeling about this lately. Think about your Facebook friends... ALL of them. College buddies, Grandmas, cousins, spouses of your spouses cousins, best friends, co-workers, children of friends, siblings, fellow church members... people of all economic, political and religious backgrounds. Invite them all to your house, at the same time. Would they all get along? HELL NO. So they're going to disagree online as well, and the only thing all these people have in common is ME. Therefore, my wall has become a battleground. I've deleted one too many comment threads and sent one too many private e-mails to try and make this behavior stop, but it just isn't stopping.

I don't see this happening on other people's walls, it's like I'm some kind of magnet for inappropriate online behavior. Seriously, does anyone else share these frustrations? Please, for the love of all that is techy, please grow some online manners and just be nice.

At least on my wall. If you want to leave angry comments on someone else's page feel free, I'm not paying their therapy bill.

More Summer Fun and a birthday bash

2011-06-28T21:03:00.000-07:00

Homemade pizza night, which the kids have been begging for! They each had a personal pan sized pizza that they could make however they wanted. We don't do this often enough.

Our back porch is rotting and falling apart, but the stairs were in the worst shape. We've had several kids fall down the stairs and get hurt, and the bottom two steps just rotten away completely and you had to jump to get down into the yard. It was a lawsuit waiting to happen. Finally Grandpa Lawlor came over and helped us rip down the old steps and rebuild new ones. Ben got to help with the project, which he enjoyed. Three generations of Lawlor boys playing with plywood and power tools. It was a moment.
(view from the top of the stairs, Grandpa at the bottom)

Tonight was a combined birthday bash at Peter Piper Pizza, to celebrate Grace turning six and Ben turning nine (which won't actually be until July 19) We have three summer birthdays, and the parties don't always coincide with their actual date of birth. We also often combine parties because it's just too much for me to handle three kids between June 6 and July 19. Grace and Ben each got to invite just a few friends, and we let Ember invite a couple just so she wouldn't be bored. The total bill was WAY less than planning parties at home, and I didn't have to decorate, entertain, cook, or clean up. It was the best party EVER! We still need to do something for Ember later this summer, and I have some ideas about that, but I got two out of three done. Whew.

That big pile of purple tulle next to Grace is the most beautiful tutu ever made. Seriously, it's so amazing and sooo well made. My friend Janalynn makes and sells them, with 100% of the proceeds going towards the medical fund for her son Adam, who has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. To follow Adam's progress go to Adam's Hope on Facebook or visit http://www.dreamweaverhairdesign.com/ to contribute to his medical fund or to order one of your own amazing tutu's.

Then at the end of a busy and stressful day, I saw this. Wow.

I love Arizona sunsets.

So there's more of our summer so far, and we're not even halfway done yet!

Family catch up

2011-06-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about my family in awhile, so I just have a few pictures to add to play catch up.

After the ballet recital, Grace could finally get a summer haircut! We didn't need to put it up in a bun again for awhile. Ember is choosing to grow her hair as long as Rapunzel.

Grace's Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Jankunis. She was amazing with Grace! She got a special award for being the best artist in the class. Grace does has a love/hate relationship with markers... she loves them, and I hate them. But I'm proud of her!

Ben made a birdhouse at Scoutcamp and we've had lots of bird activity, he's very proud of himself. We caught this hungry bird on our way to the grocery store one day.

Grace face had a birthday, she turned six years old! We just had a small family party for her, she'll get together with her friends later this month at Peter Piper Pizza. She couldn't decide what her favorite gift was, a new bike or lip gloss. We also went to the pool to celebrate her special day.

Our summer has also been filled with the drama of a serial killer in our back yard.

Does she look menacing to you? No, sweetest face ever! She's just developed a taste for chicken. Our neighbors have chickens and unfortunately the fence between our properties is in serious disrepair. We've offered to split the cost of a new block wall and they've said no every time. Our dogs get in their yard, their dogs and chickens get into our yard. Whichever way it goes, Elphie kills the chickens. I think the neighbors have finally decided to chip in for that fence. Good call.

Ember also completed three weeks of summer orchestra and had a concert this past Friday. I forgot the camera, but she did great. Advanced orchestra is a little more stressful and she's feeling some discouragement that she can't do everything the first time she tries it. Remind you of anyone, Mom? Thankfully Ember's Mom is also a violinist, and I'm always happy to help. It's fun for both of us.

Future summer plans? Peter Piper Pizza party for Ben and Grace's birthdays, swim lessons, Ember's birthday and a party for her we haven't planned yet, vacation to California, playing tourist in our own state, and the usual trips to the pool and library.

And can I just say to Janalynn, I owe you something big for introducing me to www.myjobchart.com. My kids are motivated, working hard, not complaining... they're like new kids, it's fabulous! :)

So the kids home for summer hasn't driven me crazy just yet, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not looking forward to August 10.

I am a nice person.

2011-06-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am a nice person.

I let the car with the blinker on go in front of me in traffic.

I let people go ahead of me in the grocery store, the guy with fewer things, or the Mom with a screaming baby that just wants to go home.

I am quick to offer compliments on someone’s new outfit, hairstyle, beautiful babies or talented kids, a craft project, anything someone might be proud of.

I carry thank you cards in my purse and leave them under the windshield wipers of vehicles carrying a Veteran’s license plate.

And of course as a Mom, I do my best to love and serve my family every day.

I am a NICE person.

Some people aren’t nice, like the guy who honked and flipped me off in traffic today. Maybe he’s nice sometimes, but not today. He was a stranger, and I didn’t take it personally. I didn’t do anything wrong, and he was probably just having a bad day. I can handle that sort of unkindness. It’s generic.

The kind I CAN’T handle, and the kind that I’ve been the victim of lately, is when it is personal.

The kind that doesn’t come from a stranger, it comes directly from someone I know, and someone who knows me.

When it’s someone from the neighborhood / church that critiques my mothering skills, and the observations aren’t good. They’re downright mean.

When I’m called names that I don’t deserve.

Then, a stranger swears at me in church during a baby blessing and calls me a mean mother.

Another stranger yells at me for parking in the wrong place, which I chose because it was shady. Someone parks there every day, but no one complained until it was me that parked there. She knocked on my vehicle window and criticized me in front of my kids.

I have a longer list, I feel like I’m getting dumped on more than normal lately, from people who know me, and people who don’t, but I’ll leave it at this in order to make my point.

I have decided that I don’t have to be treated like that and just accept it. I can stand up for myself, and for my children. I can say “you’re wrong about me, and you’re out of line.” I’ve been doing that for the past month and I’ve discovered something about myself.

I don’t feel nice anymore.

I’m standing up to friends, family, strangers, anyone who attacks my character or abilities, and I’m defending myself. And the more I do it, the more bold I get.

To the woman who told me I had to move my van, I told her to back off, and who was she to tell me where I could park, the police? Did I take your spot, is that why you’re mad?

To the woman who swore at me at church, I turned around and said, “Are you kidding me? Grow up. Be quiet during the prayer, and don’t swear in church.”

To the woman who called me un-Christlike because of how I handled a situation where my son was being bullied and then assaulted, I told her to keep her eye on her own family and quit judging mine. Then I “un-friended” her on Facebook.

I still want to be a nice person. I don’t want to feel bitter, angry, or cynical all the time. I’m beginning to look for opportunities to put someone in their place, instead of looking for opportunities to lift someone up. I don’t like the transformation, but I’m also not ready to go back to laying down and taking it. I’m looking for balance.

How can you be strong and stand up for yourself without becoming hard?

I just want to be nice again.

Ballet Recital tonight

2011-05-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

The girls did great tonight, we loved Ember as a newsboy from Newsies dancing to "Seize the Day" and Grace made a fierce lion dancing to "I Just Can't Wait to be King." Ember also did a lovely ballet number (can't remember the song) and she has gotten so graceful and elegant, her technique is fabulous. Grace's ballet number was as Cinderella, the theme for the whole night was "Dancing to Disney." I am so proud of my girls!

Weddings

2011-05-17T18:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post two weeks ago. I posted it last week when Blogger got all temperamental, and it ate it. They promised to give it back but I still haven't seen it. I happened to have a draft saved, so I'll tweak it, re-add my pictures, and re-publish the post myself. Because I think it's kinda good :)

*re-posted from May 12*

Ok, so this event is a week and a half old, but I'm just now getting around to this post.

I admit it, I bought the magazine.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't because I was interested in the Royal Wedding.. Grace likes to look at dresses in magazines and copy them. She brings her own paper and colored pencils to doctors appointments because there are magazines in the waiting rooms with celebrities wearing beautiful gowns. Her re-creations are pretty good, I'll include some in this post. I bought the magazine because there were some pretty interesting dresses and hats that I thought she might enjoy copying.

I don't get what the big deal is about the royal family, and our national obsession with them. They're just like any other dysfunctional family, they just have more diamonds. I didn't watch the wedding. I didn't watch the re-broadcasts. I didn't watch any media coverage, and didn't even look up clips on YouTube. I was glad when the news of Bin Laden hit two days later, and our easily-distracted short-term-memory media finally had something else to focus on.

Here are some of Grace's re-creations:

The Queen of England.

Princess Kate

Scary Princess Kate

Those HATS! Really?? Is Dr. Suess on staff? Apparently you can't have a naked head inside Westminster Abbey, which is ridiculous. Where do their traditions come from anyway? Ember tried to draw this one and gave up.

I enjoyed this picture of the little bridesmaid who has HAD ENOUGH. Why? Her name is Grace. I literally laughed out loud, I've seen that expression on my own Grace many times.

Now... HERE is a royal wedding.

Know why? Because I'm the daughter of a King, and I'm a princess. My gown wasn't hand stitched, it was borrowed. I didn't leave for my honeymoon in a horsedrawn carriage, I left in a beat up Ford Escort hatchback. I didn't wear a diamond tiara, I'm pretty sure it was plastic and definitely fake. I didn't have fancy chefs cater an exotic menu, I had cake from Costco and bowls of dessert mints. My only media coverage was family home videos.

But it was royal. And it was epic. These are the weddings that we should not necessarily obsess about, but definitely aspire to, because they are the ones that truly matter. Who cares about a 766 year old church, I was married in a Temple of God, because I am a princess.

That's what I want my princesses to reach for (and my prince, and future princess-in-law :)